Maraudermania
by greysky3
Summary: It's 1965, and England is gripped with Maraudermania. Everyone is talking about the wildly popular band and the Fab Four: James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. But behind the fame and music, tensions brew within the group, especially when James meets waitress Lily Evans. Will the group survive to release another record? AU/AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Preface: I guess it all started when I was googling the Marauders on the Harry Potter wiki. I saw that for the movie of _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, _they had based the Marauders' appearance on the Beatles. I couldn't help but start seeing parallels between the two everywhere, with James' character and John Lennon especially. And that led me to think... What if the Marauders had been a wildly popular band instead of the Beatles at that time? So here is a story, of what it would be like if the Marauders were a band, and all the characters are around 25. And what better time to start a fic than the beginning of November, NaNoWriMo? So here you go...**

**I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters. I do not own the Beatles, their music, songs, lyrics, logo, or any other related copyrighted material.**

* * *

1965, a small pub in Liverpool

James can't help but notice the waitress as he sits holding his beer.

She couldn't be more normal, with her hair tied back, as she weaves around the tables, pouring water into glasses, and writing down Scousers' mundane orders.

She doesn't smile much, but her eyes have something special. Their green sparkles with deeper green flecks, and lighter, almost golden ones, like kaleidoscope eyes. He smiles at his sudden stroke of genius. _That's a good line, _he thinks as he jots it down on his napkin and stuffs it into his jacket's pocket.

He smiles dazzlingly as she makes her way towards his table, lifting up the cap that until then hid his famous face from onlookers. He waits for realization to dawn on her face as she realizes who she's in the presence of, but she only registers a small green flicker as she scans his face then looks back down at her waiter's pad.

"Would you like something else?" she asks, and hearing her voice, he immediately knows she's Liverpudlian.

"Another beer," he says, gesturing half-heartedly to his now-empty bottle. She picks it up with an expression he can't place and makes her way over to the bar. He leans back into his seat, a glimmer of amusement threatening to make him smile; that same smile that makes fans roar as he finishes a song, and melt at the sight of him.

She walks back to James, holding the bottle carefully yet effortlessly. She sets it down on the table. James looks up again, giving her one last chance to recognize him before he told her.

He tries not to feel disappointed as she walks away without a second glance. "Wait!" he says, and she slowly turns around. Her ponytail swishes above her shoulders as she walks back towards him.

Suddenly feeling awkward, James stammers, "I- I'm James-"

"James Potter. I know," she says simply. "You're one of the Marauders, aren't you? All of England's dropped off its trolley for the Marauders. Maraudermania they're calling it."

"Y-yeah," James says, composing himself.

The waitress shoots him her first smile of the evening, a half-smile that holds something much more dangerous than your usual one. "Well don't expect me to turn into a pillock just for that."

* * *

"How long've you been here?" Sirius demands, brushing a too-long strand of black hair away.

"Ages," James murmurs. He's been watching the waitress out of the corner of his eyes, looking away every time she turns his way. He pulls out the crumpled napkin from his pocket, and adds underneath: _something about the way she moves._

He looks up to the look on Sirius' face that so clearly means he's about to have a go at him. "Weren't we supposed to have practice today?" Sirius asks, his eyes flashing.

"Yeah, but I'm knackered today," he says, looking to the side to catch her reaching up for a glass.

"James." He's called back to reality and looks up with a doleful look.

"Come one. You can't stay here forever."

"Stop getting up my nose!" James says, his volume rising.

"You're absolutely barmy! Been drinking, have you?" Sirius snaps. Both of them get up in one fluid movement.

James clenches his fists, feeling bile clouding his thoughts, as the stress of the week rises up in a wave of anger.

The bartender, a short, fat man, gets up, and makes his way over to the pair that ripple with tension. "Now, gentlemen," he begins, seemingly unsure of how to settle this.

Gasps come from the pub. "It's Potter!"

"And Black!"

"Happy to have your moment of fame, are you?" Sirius taunts. James balls his fist and throws a punch, always keeping his eyes, alight with anger, looking straight at Sirius'. Sirius recoils as it hits the side of his face, the pure indignation throwing off his aim.

Sirius hits him above the eye and James feels someone holding him back, restraining him. "Someone call the bizzies!" a voice calls across the pub, and as James struggles, something hits him over the head.


	2. Chapter 2

"Up already, are you?"

James' eyes focused on green ones. He blinked twice, but the image wouldn't focus. "My glasses," he croaked. He felt them placed into his hand, and brought them up to his face.

He looked around, taking in a small, dingy flat, and finally, the red-haired waitress from the day before. She was tidying up the place, and picked something up from the table. As she walked towards the kitchen, she tossed something over her shoulder. A slightly damp newspaper fell onto James' face.

He peeled it off and saw the headlines: "Marauders Messing About: Potter Clocks Black."

James groaned, tossing the paper onto the floor. He couldn't deal with the press this early, and the pounding headache was making everything much more difficult to think about. He noticed his bed was one of two in the flat. He pulled the covers off of him, feeling as though his arms were made of lead. He climbed out groggily, testing the floor with his shaky legs. Pulling himself up and smoothing out his clothes, the same ones from the day before, he walked over to the kitchen the girl had disappeared into.

She was frying eggs and rashers in her microscopic kitchen. As she navigated the small space carefully, opening curtains on her small window with a view onto a brick wall, and taking out plates from an overhead cupboard, James realized something. "I never asked your name," he said.

"Lily Evans," she answered, turning off the fire, and easing the bacon and eggs onto two plates. She handed one to James, followed by a fork, and started to eat her own breakfast, leaning against the doorframe. "I know you must be used to breakfast that costs a bomb," she said, "but you're not getting any here."

James stayed silent as he ate, and every time a smile creeped onto his face, she answered with a glare. She put down her empty plate with a clatter, in record speed according to his standards.

"Well, I'm off to work," she said, slinging a bag over her shoulder.

"What?" James asked, disoriented by the turn of events. Lily shot him a distasteful look.

"Unlike you, I need to work to get my nosh every day."

"No, I didn't mean," he stammered. "Here," he said, digging into his pockets. He handed her a 100-pound note.

She looked at him suspiciously. "I don't need your generosity," she said.

Still he held out the note. "I have more, don't worry."

"Like to brag, don't you?" she muttered, taking it quickly and stuffing it into her bag, as if scared he'd change his mind. "I've really got to go," she said, giving him a significant look that he'd learned over the course of a few hours signified she wasn't going to back down.

"Right." James looked around the flat. He hadn't really brought anything to the pub, and there was nothing for him to take with him. Lily opened the door for him and he stepped out. As she locked the doors, James took in rough concrete walls and a dimly lit stairwell that looked older than he was. A few doors dotted the walls, all of the same plain wood.

She stepped away from her flat and nodded at him. James followed her down the stairs, his hands in his pockets. He sleepily watched her bright red ponytail bounce as she descended the three flights of stairs.

Lily pushed the door open and stepped out into the grayish daylight. James observed he was on Duke Street. "Well, bye," Lily said awkwardly, and she strode off, glancing back at James only once.

He watched the bright speck of red that was her head disappear. The small burst of color stood out from the grayish tinge of her building and street. He snapped out of his daze with a start. How long had he been standing there? He glanced quickly at his watch and sighed. He shook his head and called up a cab.


	3. Chapter 3

James arrived at their Dumbledore Records studio late. All was silent as he stumbled in, wearing the same clothes as the night before. He picked up his Rickenbacker as if all was well, and looking up again tried not to look at the bruise that marked Sirius' jaw. Glancing at the mirror that adorned an entire wall of the studio, he saw that he too had a bruise, one that was purpling on his right eyebrow.

"Let's just do this," he said, running a hand straight through his hair, making it stick out in every direction.

After a moment of silence, James looked up again. Peter looked terrified, and Remus looked like he wanted to say something. Sirius was glaring at a spot somewhere on the wall, resolutely ignoring James.

"James," Peter said. He hesitated. "Let's talk about this."

"About what? I'm trying to get this done!" James said, gesturing with his guitar.

"It's all over the news," Remus said. He didn't have to explain what he was talking about. "And where did you go after, anyway?"

"I don't remember," James admitted.

"That's convenient," Sirius snorted. James glared at him. "I paid my fine," Sirius continued. "Then the bint from the bar said you were her cousin, got you away from the coppers."

"HER NAME IS LILY!" James shouted.

"Aren't you het up?" said Sirius sardonically.

"Bugger off, Sirius!" Peter interjected.

"Are you siding with Saint James now?" Sirius asked.

"Just because I'm not as manky as you doesn't make me a saint! Compared to you anyone's an angel!" James accused.

"Stop it!" Remus said. His voice filled the room. "All of you!"

James busied himself by examining his Rickenbacker and wiping at a spot that wasn't quite clean. Peter looked around the room with his sad eyes, unusually so that day, and sat down at his usual spot behind the drum kit. Remus got behind his usual microphone and Sirius grudgingly slung his bass over his shoulder.

James blew out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He picked up his guitar and moved over to the microphone. Inhale. "One, two, three, four."

* * *

Later that evening he was again at the bar.

Immediately, he saw the change. It was subtle, but it changed her whole demeanor. Yesterday she'd been wearing a nondescript white button-down. James registered, pleased with himself, the mint green blouse, with its collar embroidered in gold. It was obviously expensive, James noted. It was made of silk, and was well cut, suiting her figure.

"Shut up," Lily said as she came to his table, reddening at his obvious admiration of her new clothing. She self-consciously tucked a strand of her hair behind a golden headband, another new addition. Another half-smile tugged at her lips, one that didn't seem quite as challenging as the one from the night before.

"Anything else I can get you?" Lily asked James, her voice falsely professional.

"I think I'm fine. Care to sit down for a moment?"

Lily glanced around, and seeing the bartender, her boss, was deep in conversation with someone, she sat in front of James. The cracked plastic of the seat squeaked as she made herself comfortable.

"If he sees me skiving off…" Lily said.

"Then I can offer a concert in the pub," James said. Lily stared at him. He made everything seem so easy, so perfectly in reach. Money, persuasion – he had it all, and poor little Lily was there working her arse off just to live in a mangy flat.

"So… I see you've made good use of the hundred quid."

"None of my mates believed me when I said I'd gotten four pony from a Marauder. They thought I was touched. Right good friends they are…"

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw the bartender wave, as the person he was talking to was leaving, and turn back around. Lily stood up abruptly; almost knocking over the chair she was sitting on. She steadied it with one hand while glancing towards the bartender, who was wiping a glass.

She picked up James' emptied beer bottle. "Anything else?" she asked distractedly, her eyes decidedly on the bar.

"Another," James said, and Lily hurried off to another table. Trying to hide his disappointment, he sat back into his seat. He was surprised no fans were here, trying to meet a Marauder, stalking out the last place where he'd been seen. Sometimes he felt like a tracked animal, constantly hiding from the press.

Lily came back with another beer for him. "Sorry, the boss's aeriated. I can't stop to chat."

She walked over to another table. James spent the next few hours watching her, seeing how her blouse made her hair look redder, if that was even possible. She would reach out to get glasses from a shelf, and her hair would create a red cascade whose tips barely tickled her arm.

At midnight he yawned and realized he was completely knackered. James got up and made his way toward the door. Lily caught the movement and waved. James saluted quickly, which earned him a smile, a small one, but a proper smile nonetheless.


	4. Chapter 4

James put down his guitar with a tired sigh and a silly grin. Finally, the day was over. They'd had a calm day, mostly writing bits and pieces of lyrics, with one of them occasionally trying out a tune on the piano, or bouncing ideas off one another.

"They're going to think you're an alcoholic, you know."

James jumped at the sound and turned to see Moony. He was still there, though Sirius and Peter had left as soon as the studio closed. "Going to the pub every night, the press'll be all over it."

"I'm not–" James muttered.

"I know. You're going to see the waitress, Lily Evans, wasn't it?"

James said nothing. "Well, I've got to go," Remus said.

"Again?"

"They've got me going every month now," Remus said, his voice suddenly sounding breakable.

They left Dumbledore Records together, and James felt worry constricting his throat as he noticed the slight tremble in Remus' left hand as he walked away to the bus stop. James watched him as he hid his face with a hat, walking hunched into the Penny Lane bus.

For a moment he was five again, walking to Penny Lane and taking in everything wide-eyed, the barbershop where he'd get his hair cut, the seemingly perpetual blue skies, and the roundabout, all etched into his mind. Then he was waiting for the Penny Lane bus with Remus, when everything was still fine with him, and they'd talk and joke over fish and chips while waiting for the bus to take them to the center of Liverpool.

The sky was darkening, and James decided it might be a bad day to break his tradition, and clenching his fists that were deep in his jacket pockets, he started to walk over to the pub, fighting against the early January wind.

* * *

James took Remus' advice at the pub. "Another beer?" Lily guessed when she came over to his table.

"Four of fish," James said.

"A change in the routine," said Lily appreciatively. She jotted it down on her pad, and walked back to the kitchen. A few minutes later she reappeared with a plate in her hand.

She placed it on the table, the chips still releasing heat, and after a furtive look around the place, she sat opposite James and took a chip. "He's not looking," Lily assured him.

A smile quirked James' lips and he took a chip closest to him. Lily took this as permission and she took another one. Soon they were both eating form the plate and talking.

"How's the album?"

James nearly choked on a piece of fish. He swallowed with difficulty.

"Bee's knees," he said, not sounding convinced.

Lily decided not to press it. She looked down at the empty plate. She picked it up and got up from her seat.

"If he's still het up, say I've got signed pictures," James called to her. She laughed and waved at him to be quiet. James watched her disappear into the kitchen.

That night he lasted until one in the morning before he had to leave, exhausted.


	5. Chapter 5

Then one day she wasn't there.

That night he sat down at his usual table in the corner, his fingers stinging from playing the guitar all day. He craned his neck to look for Lily. She wasn't at the bar. He wondered whether she was at the kitchen.

He drummed his fingers nervously on the table, tapping out the beat that had been drilled into his mind all day. The cool plastic seemed to reverberate under his fingertips, the cold somewhat soothing his calluses, while the pressure of tapping also aggravated the stinging. Finally he placed his palm flat on the table, examining his splayed fingers to pass the time.

He sighed as one of his own songs began to play softly in the background, an old love song he'd written on a whim with Sirius. People bustled around the pub, forks and knives clinking and mixing in with the noise of old friends talking over a pint.

He glanced at the bar, then at the kitchen, his gaze finally stopping to linger on the bald head of the bartender. He got up from his table, and walked over to the bar. He took a seat as if he was going to order a drink, and waited for the bartender to turn around. He was sweating, and his beady eyes focused on James with an air of surprise. "Good heavens, you're –"

"Yes," said James quickly. "Can you do me a favor? Where's Lily?"

"She's home – family emergency," he said.

"Ta," said James, getting up swiftly.

"Wait!" said the bartender, but James did not. He was halfway out the door when he heard him say, almost in desperation: "I'm a humungous fan!"

_Aren't they all, _James thought bitterly. _Except maybe Lily._ Lily the oddity, who seemed to be different from anyone else he'd ever met, and who he was determined to understand.

He stepped back out onto the cold. One flash of his famous smile and he was on a cab to Duke Street.

* * *

The air was sharply cold and somewhat moist when he got up and absentmindedly handed some money to the cabbie. The humidity made every smell more intense, and now the fragrance of pollution seemed to waft from everywhere in Duke Street. The smell intermingled with something that was comparable to old cigarettes and cats living together in a small area.

Letting his breath out in a white puff etched starkly against the dark street, he strode towards Lily's home. The quite unremarkable building loomed above him now, and he saw that an elderly woman was making her way out, holding the door open to pull a grocery cart through. He swooped in and held the door open for her.

"Thank you dear," she said shakily with a toothless smile. She didn't notice him as he slipped into the building. He climbed up the three flights of stairs, the harsh concrete looking even gloomier at night. He found Lily's flat easily. Golden light was visible through the cheap, grainy glass of the window in her door.

He knocked once, and stood. He rubbed his left eye tiredly behind his glasses. There was no reply. He let his breath out slowly, his eyes gradually getting accustomed to the semi-darkness of the bad quality bulb that hung, bare, from the ceiling. Stains spread across the wall, giving the hallway a definitive dampness and smell of mildew.

After a minute or two of waiting, he knocked again, this time with more urgency. He heard a creak from inside, and a vague silhouette appeared in the window.

"Lily, it's me," he said. The silhouette wavered, then turned and disappeared.

He felt crushed.

He lied to himself and told himself it didn't matter. He didn't know her that well anyway.

He forced himself down the stairs, and tried to not torture himself with questions.

He hailed another cab, and looked moodily out the window. As the cab started to drive away, he saw movement in the entrance of Lily's building. There she was, her bright red hair very recognizable. She was holding the door open for someone, and out came a bloke with greasy-looking black hair and a hooked nose. Just as the cab rounded the corner, he got a last glimpse of the two. That last image stayed in his mind, making him sick, as if he was drunk again, and Sirius had hit him in the stomach this time.

He'd grabbed her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

That next day James sat in the corner, plucking at his guitar moodily, playing nothing specific. Remus was writing down lyrics with a face of utmost concentration, occasionally stopping to lazily try out fragments of a melody one-handedly on the piano. Soft drumming of an irregular beat wafted from where Peter was, swelling to a quick drum roll then back down to a steady beat.

He placed his fingers almost mechanically, the repetitive strumming making him lose feeling in his arms as the action became almost unconscious. Slowly, he worked his way through an E minor scale, the chords fading to the background as he almost forgot what he was doing, leaving his mind to wander. His fingers, almost by themselves, started to move to a B minor, the chords reverberating, as he worked his way up the strings. He moved his fingers ever so slowly; the chords barely sounding like a scale, spaced out as they were.

"What's wrong?"

It wasn't really question. It was a statement, and he knew he had to respond.

"Nothing." James tried to avoid it anyway, looking up defiantly into Sirius' eyes.

"Leave it out. You're playing minor chords in a corner, frowning at anything that moves. There's a problem."

"Yeah," James sighed. "There's a problem." And with that he looked at Sirius and he knew their argument was over.

"I think you need a break. Let's go get some drinks at the pub," Sirius said.

"No, I don't really need to get a drink…" said James. The last thing he wanted was to go to Lily's pub again after what had happened.

Now Sirius looked downright menacing. "Face your fears," he said. James found he couldn't refuse without looking daft, so he agreed, running his hand all the way through his hair again.

He realized over the past few weeks it'd become a habit


	7. Chapter 7

The arrived at the pub wearing an assortment of hats; an attempt at avoiding being recognized. They rarely went anywhere together other than concerts. One Marauder in a corner of a deserted pub could pass unnoticed most of the time, but all four was risky. Sirius had insisted, calling in favors from bets the others had hoped against all hope he'd forgotten about.

All was going well when they opened the door to the pub. Then the place erupted in a shower of voices, camera flashes, and fans. James blinked at the sudden bright lights erupting everywhere, though he was wearing dark glasses as were the others.

James backed away blindly, and a mass of people spewed out of the place. Reporters holding microphones, people with cameras, and girls holding signs proclaiming their undying love for Peter, Sirius, Remus, and him appeared right and left. They all wanted to see him, talk to him, touch his hair; which honestly scared him a little sometimes.

James had no choice. He pulled off his sunglasses and smiled. He answered the multitude of questions as people recording him, hanging on to his every word.

"Yes, we're recording an album."

"No, we're just good friends."

"No, Sirius has _not _been replaced by an imposter."

"The album will be out sometime late this year."

"Inside information about our album: it has songs. And we sing them."

"No, we're just good friends."

"I have nothing to say about my haircut."

"No, I'm not related to Sirius."

"_No, _that song was not about Sirius. _We're just good friends!"_

"No, I can't tell you about the album."

"I'm not in a relationship, unless you count fish and chips..."

When they got around to asking about the fistfight, James was at a loss for words. He glanced to Sirius. They were asking him the same thing. Sirius smiled, a truly devilish smile.

"Oh, that was a publicity stunt!" Sirius said offhandly. "We're promoting nonviolence."

"Brilliant," whispered James. He turned toward another microphone. "Yes, violence is too present in our daily lives. We were bringing attention to that fact."

Slowly, still answering questions about his hair and about Sirius, he backed away from the pub, his face frozen into a smile for the cameras. He bumped into Remus and Peter who were also trying to escape the crowd. He had time to nod to Remus, who in turn nudged Peter.

"Run!" James shouted. He turned and ran at full speed, rounding the corner then getting into a small alley. He turned back to see the other three running too. If there was one place James knew, it would be Liverpool.

He turned left, ran through a brightly lit street, then right again. This street was quieter. He took another left for good measure and walked into a dimly-lit street. He opened the first door he saw, one belonging to a shady-looking pub.

A few people huddled in a corner, looking even filthier than the place. A bare bulb illuminated the bar, where a squat man half-heartedly rubbed a grimy counter with a rag.

"Right alcoholic you are," said Peter. "Have you gone to every pub in Liverpool?"

James rolled his eyes and sat down at a small table whose plastic had a crack running through it. It had been clumsily repaired with a thick layer of caulk that might have one day been white but was now a deep shade of gray.

He leaned back into his seat with a tired sigh as Sirius sat down opposite him. Peter took a seat, and Remus finally decided to ignore the filth of the place and sat down too.

"Haven't been chased by fans in a while," Remus remarked.

"Yeah. I was starting to think they didn't care about us anymore," Sirius said, pretending to be heartbroken.

A pimply teenager shuffled over to their table. "Anything I can get you?" he asked in a bored voice.

"A pint," Sirius said without thinking.

"A shot of vodka," said James, ignoring the disapproving look from Remus. He felt entitled to drink whatever he wanted after a day like his.

The waiter walked off, slumped over as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Speaking of the screaming fans, how did they know where we were going?" James wondered aloud.

Wordlessly, Remus reached for something inside his coat. He pulled out a crumpled newspaper James recognized was from one of the reporters. He hadn't paid too much attention to it back at the pub.

Remus smoothed it out on the table and slid it over to where James was. He turned the paper around, and the first thing that struck him was a picture of Lily on the front page. She looked serious, looking straight ahead into the camera. It was an old picture, she looked young and had bangs that must have grown out since. It looked like an official picture, one that might have been from an identification card or a resumé.

Next to it was a picture of him, obviously from a concert. He was holding a guitar and singing into a microphone, a smile illuminating his face; the background was blurred.

With increasing alarm he took in the headlines.

"POTTER OF 'THE MARAUDERS' VISITING MYSTERY GIRL."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: You might want to listen to Girl and You Won't See Me to get the references in this chapter.**

**The Beatles' lyrics, songs, logo, and other copyrighted material belongs to EMI.**

**The Harry Potter universe and characters belong to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

_"Owner and bartender of Liverpool pub 'The Hog's Head,' Gregory Angleton, tells us about James Potter, a singer, songwriter, and guitarist for the rock group The Marauders. 'He's been coming around for quite a while,' says Mr. Angleton. 'First time I saw him at the pub was when he had that fight with Black.' Bandmate Sirius Black had a fistfight with Mr. Potter in early January, at the Hog's Head. 'After the coppers came, Potter went with Evans to her home, saying she was his cousin,' Mr. Angleton concludes. He confirms that, in fact, Potter and Lily Evans, the waitress at the pub, are not related. While interviewing Roberta Taffet, a resident in the same building as Ms. Evans, more information was unearthed. Mrs. Taffet tells Liverpool Star Watch: 'That Potter boy stayed over at Lily's one night. He left in the morning.' Mrs. Taffet confirms she saw Mr. Potter a second time at Evans' apartment building. 'He held the door open for me once. He seemed like a right gentleman.' Mr. Angleton reports that Mr. Potter has gone to the pub every night after the incident with Mr. Black. 'He's always talking to Evans.' Mr. Potter has been known to leave behind him a string of broken-hearted girls. Is Evans the next girl he has his eye on? How will this end? Liverpool Star Watch will keep you in the know, with all the latest Marauders news."_

"Put that down, will you?" Remus said angrily. His usually saintlike patience was wearing thin. James looked up from the newspaper he's been reading since the day before. He'd woken up with a start in the morning; the paper over his face, then realized he'd overslept.

"Yeah, James, wouldn't want to add Remus to your string of broken-hearted girls," Sirius snickered.

"Shut up," James said dangerously.

"Don't wind him up, you know how he gets. Might put your lights out," said Peter. Sirius laughed.

"I _will_ chuck this at your head," James warned, waving his Rickenbacker dangerously.

"Can we just do this and go home?" Remus asked exasperatedly.

"Yeah, and you can go to yet _another _pub after we're done," said Peter innocently.

"Okay, lads, leave him alone," Sirius said, slinging an arm around James, who pushed him away. Sirius bit back another remark and simply went, chuckling, to the microphone. He slung his bass over his shoulder.

James frowned but went to his spot anyway. Peter twirled his drumsticks, throwing them into the air and catching them before sitting behind the drum set, where he was slightly raised above the floor. That was the only time he was taller than the others, and he enjoyed his power, albeit a limited one.

Not one to break traditions, James reached up to the microphone. "One, two, three, four."

_"Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the girl who came to stay?"_

As he usually did while rehearsing, James let his thoughts wander. The lyrics reminded him too much of Lily, the girl you want so much it makes you sorry. Still, he didn't regret a single day.

Unfortunately, thinking of Lily also reminded him of another one of their songs, this one about how she wouldn't see him, and it felt like years since the last time he'd seen her.

_"Girl," _he sang, his sighs very real. The song ended, ebbing away with Peter's steady rhythm, and Sirius' last notes.

James was the first to put down his guitar. He put on his coat quickly, and slapped on his newsboy cap.

"Why the hurry? Going to the pub again?" Sirius teased lazily.

"No," James said shortly, walking out the door without looking back.

"I say he's gone barmy," Sirius said, putting down his bass.


	9. Chapter 9

James put his jacket on the coat rack properly, and walked into his flat in a civilized way. That lasted about thirty seconds, before he let out a primal scream and flung off his shoes, throwing them against the wall and delighting in the sound they made as they smacked the plaster.

He let himself fall onto his bed, and punched his pillow with both fists before hurling it away from him. He sat on his bed, panting; his anger feeling like physical exertion.

He quickly surveyed the mess he'd made in his flat. "Sorry," he muttered to no one in particular, then picked up the pillow, fluffed it a bit and placed it again, somewhat crumpled-looking, at the head of his bed.

He stalked over to the window, knocking over a packet of cigarettes and day-old clothes. He struggled with the window, and finally opened it, letting a puff of cold air into his home. He switched on a lamp, feeling the temperature in the room slowly lower.

He sat at his desk on his swivel chair. Feeling like a child, he spun on it a few times before rolling over to his guitar rack. He wheeled it over to his desk and picked up his other Rickenbacker, the one that was properly his; not the one Dumbledore Records provided him.

He pulled out from his desk's drawer some lined paper and some staff paper. A melody had been playing in his head all day, and he thought it would be better to get something done; rather than wallow in self-pity all night again.

He worked all night, writing lyrics, and music. Once in a while he'd try out bits of the song on his guitar, and half-sing, half-hum along. Hours passed and he was in his own little world, doing what made him feel like he had talent. Some would call it a true vocation, but James wasn't specifically driven, he simply wrote because it seemed necessary that he do so.

He stopped when the room had gotten too cold, and snowflakes were drifting through to open window. Yawning, he went to close it. Without bothering to change his clothes, James turned off the lamp and got under his covers.


	10. Chapter 10

It was two more weeks until James saw Lily again.

It was the evening of her twenty-fifth birthday, and Lily thought that if she heard the name James Potter one more time she would not be responsible for her actions.

She sighed, pausing her task of putting clean glasses into a cupboard, as a girl suddenly made her way over to the bar. Suddenly the place was crawling with females anywhere between the ages of fifteen and thirty, like restless predators, ready to pounce at the sight of the Marauders.

Lily smiled tautly. The girl looked about her age. "Lily Evans, is it?" the girl asked. Lily nodded, her smile sliding off of her face unconsciously as she continued setting the glasses carefully into the shelf.

When Lily turned around, having finished her task, the girl was still there. She stared at the girl pointedly, silently willing her to leave. "Alice Prewett," she said with a smile, extending her hand. Her hair, just past her ears, bobbed at the motion. Lily shook her hand suspiciously. There was no reason for Alice to talk to her unless it was related to James. She decided to ignore her like she'd done so many others.

Alice looked on with impatience as Lily grabbed a rag and started wiping down the bar's counter. She was unfriendly to say the least. Alice always showed her emotions, and it posed a challenge when someone else's were unreadable. She sat down on one of the tall stools. She'd wait this one out.

When Lily was done cleaning the countertop, Alice still hadn't gone. "Anything you'd like?" she asked, subtly telling Alice to either order something or leave. Alice didn't react.

"No thank you," she said brightly with a genuine smile. She opened her mouth to say something, and Lily braced herself. Again, another mention of—

"James Potter," said Alice conversationally. Lily put down the bucket of ice cubes so violently that some water that had melted splashed out, forming a little ring of droplets around the circumference of the bucket.

Cursing loud enough to be heard, but not enough to be obscene, Lily wiped at the imperfections in the now glistening counter. "So," Alice said, trying to keep her one-sided conversation going.

Lily took a deep breath to keep from shouting at Alice. "Actually, I think a whiskey would be nice," said Alice, sensing the danger she'd just avoided.

"Right away," Lily muttered, glad for an excuse. On her way to the other side of the bar, she noticed another girl giggling to her friend as she poured the drink.

"Excuse me, are the Marauders—"

"No," said Lily grumpily, heading back towards Alice. She set the drink down in front of Alice, who peered at Lily with soft brown eyes.

"If you're going to ask about the Marauders, I'm not answering," Lily warned. Alice was about to reassure her when Lily went off her trolley.

"James Potter! Is that all anyone can say? How many times do I have to tell people he's not coming back!" Lily shouted. Heads turned in the bar, and Lily stared them down until they turned away. Her expression was one of hysteria.

"Who's not coming back?" asked a voice from next to Alice. Lily turned and saw James grinning stupidly. Well. Adorably was also a possible adjective.

Her eyes widened and she pulled his hat off of his head and held it in front of his face, hiding his smiling face and marching him awkwardly out of the pub. They were half a block away by the time Lily trusted herself to uncover his famous face.

"What was that?" she hissed. "Do you want another stampede?" Lily put her hands on her hips. "Don't you think I have enough trouble already with everyone asking for you? It's got me losing my patience! Mr. Angleton would have me fired already if it weren't for the whole 'couple' story!"

Lily's voice has risen in pitch and volume steadily throughout her speech. James brought his hand up to his neck sheepishly. "Sorry," he said.

"Sorry?" Lily asked in disbelief, her voice cracking as she sounded slightly insane. "SORRY?" James noted a slight darkness under her eyes, and her hair wasn't as neat as usual, probably from running her hands through it. Lily blew out a ragged breath. She felt empty, so beyond being angry. "Okay," she said, partly agreeing to drop the issue, and partly steadying her own emotions.

"We can go to the studio, I think Remus is still there," James suggested.

"Why would I—"

"You look choked. It'll do you some good."

The sound of frantic footsteps behind them made them both turn. Alice was heading toward them. "You forgot this," said Alice breathlessly, handing a bright red mac to Lily. She noticed James for the first time, and her eyes widened exponentially. A small squeak escaped her throat. James smiled charmingly and tipped his cap at her.

Lily glared at him.

Alice shouted over her shoulder: "Frank! Frank, come here, it's him!"

A tired-looking bloke came towards the small cluster of people. He caught sight of Alice, then of James and Lily. He smiled apologetically. "She's a big fan," he said, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her away from James.

"Frank! Let go!" Alice shouted as Frank pulled her away, feeling it was his duty to save James from. "Sign my shirt!" she called desperately to James.

Lily shrugged her mac on, watching the wind carry the odd fleck of ice that threatened snow. "It's him! Over there!" a voice shouted from the pub. A girl appeared at the doorway followed by another.

"James Potter of the Marauders!"

"Not again," Lily moaned. James took one look at the gathering girls and starting to quickly walk towards the end of the street.

"Don't worry," he said, though he wasn't sure if it was Lily or himself he was reassuring. The girls were gaining on them, giggling as they ran. James scoured the street for an escape. A car rounded the corner, and James glanced at it before a wide smile broke on his face.

He opened the back door swiftly. "Get in, quickly," he said, gesturing to Lily.

"Are you insane? I can't just get into a random car!" Lily protested.

"Quickly!" James repeated. Lily shot him a look and got in. James followed in and closed the door.

The girls tried to grab at the car, but the driver sped away before they could get a good hold on them. Their screaming, oddly muted, surrounded the car, as they pointed and shouted their love for James through the glass. Lily sat, paralyzed with fear, as the car hurtled away from the pub. There she was, in a stranger's car, with a bloke who she knew a little, and who also happened to be _James Potter._

At the first red light, the driver turned around.

"Wotcher, Lily," said Sirius, smiling brightly.


	11. Chapter 11

Remus was eating a chocolate bar over a few sheets of music when they arrived. Sirius was grinning, James was glaring at Sirius, and a girl Remus recognized as Lily from Liverpool Star Watch was walking next to James, looking flustered. Remus was ready to bet this was one hell of a story.

"Happy birthday," he said mildly as she passed.

"How did you—?"

"Your pocket," Remus answered distractedly. Lily felt her right pocket, and saw a birthday card in it, the birthday wishes scrawled across the top part that stuck out just visible.

"It's your birthday?" James asked. "How old are you now?"

"I'm twenty-five," she said, still looking at Remus suspiciously. He added a notation on the paper, picked up a nearby guitar, and played a chord. Shaking his head, he scribbled out a few notes on the music.

Meanwhile, Sirius and James were having a silent conversation. Sirius tilted his head towards Lily, James shook his head violently, his hair falling into his eyes, Sirius smirked and James glared. He put a finger on his lips, looking at Sirius gravely, Sirius smiled evilly, and James shook his head frantically, his eyes widening.

They put on identical, innocent smiles when Lily turned away from Remus to look in their direction. "Remus, why don't you give dear Lily a tour?" Sirius suggested.

Remus smiled falsely, putting down what he was doing, and shooting an angry look at Sirius. Lily followed him to the other end of the studio. "This is a guitar," he said unnecessarily, pointing at a rack. "Can you think of a three-syllable word that rhymes with 'customer'?" he said, as a second thought.

"Er," thought Lily aloud. Seeing that she was distracted, Sirius pulled James out of the studio and out into the hallway, as Lily's voice drifted out: "Muscular?"

"Well?" Sirius asked quietly but viciously.

"Well what?" said James.

"Are you touched? You're going off all the time about how amazing she is, and now, you're shy?"

"I'm not going off all the time about how—"

"Listen to me! You are going to scare her, she's going to reject you, and you'll become a hermit."

"That's—"

"Stop trying to voice your opinions! No one cares!" hissed Sirius, pushing James back into the recording studio. James stumbled in and Sirius walked in after him. The front door opened and everyone turned to see Peter walking in, shaking snow out of his jacket.

"I didn't know we were rehearsing," Peter said. "And who's she?" he said, noticing Lily.

"We _aren't _having a rehearsal," James said with an edge to his voice.

"Well, you better all clear out," Peter said striding over to a table and picking up a stack of papers. He stuffed them into a plastic sleeve. "McGonagall's in a bit of a tiz that I'm back after hours. You know how she is."

_McGonagall?, _Lily mouthed at James. He shook his head slightly.

"Right, I guess we'd best—"

"Peter, I need to lock—" the woman that had appeared in the recording studio shut her mouth abruptly at the unexpected crowd in the room.

Lily saw her mouth form a thin line like her grandmother's did when there was going to be trouble. She strode towards James, knowing him to be the usual instigator of trouble. "Potter, how many times have I told you? This is a recording studio, not your house! You can't come over and bring—" her eyes darted to Lily, "friends."

"We were just leaving," James said grudgingly, torn between defying authority and getting home alive. Now that Lily really got a good look at the woman, she immediately recognized the signs of the upper class. A pearl necklace peeked out from under a well-tailored vest, and her hair swirled impeccably into a strict updo, not a single hair out of place.

She opened the door stiffly and the Marauders filed out, looking more subdued than Lily had ever seen them, something she'd until then thought an impossible feat. It wasn't until they were well out of Dumbledore Records that James allowed himself a sigh of relief.

"Parky weather, isn't it?" Peter asked Lily.

"Hasn't been this bad in a while," Lily said. For the before-last day of January, the wind was bitterly cold, ripping off flecks of ice and snow from the surrounding buildings and swirling them into the howling gale. The small bits of ice stung her cheeks, and landed in the crimson crevices of her mac, but she put on a brave face and pretended not to be bothered.

"Who's McGonagall?" she asked.

"Minerva McGonagall. She owns Dumbledore Records," Remus explained.

"And she's dead rich too," Sirius added.

"More than you lot?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.

"We only get a fraction of what the records bring in," Sirius answered.

"I'd better be off, James," said Peter. He glanced quickly at Remus and the two detached themselves from the group, walking swiftly against the howling wind.

"Ta-ra!" Sirius waved cheerfully then turned to James. "I'll leave you two alone," he said, wiggling his eyebrows as his black hair was whipped into his face by the wind.

Before James could shout back at him, he was gone into the swirl of snow and ice. Lily looked over to the street sign next to Dumbledore Records. "I can walk home," she said, taking a decisive step away from James. The last thing she wanted to do was have James pay a cab for her, or have to admit she couldn't pay for it herself.

She took a few more steps into the cold, and heard James falling into stride with her. She glanced at him. "You aren't following me, are you?"

"Your flat's on the way to mine," he lied.

"Where is it, then?" Lily asked. James brought up a mental map of Liverpool.

"Rodney Street." James didn't hesitate. After a long, searching look, Lily accepted his answer and set off at a brisk pace, the speed of her gait daring James to run after her.

It was a slower walk than usual against the powerful wind and stinging ice. James glanced at Lily every once in a while, but she kept her eyes determinedly looking forward. He counted the streets they passed until they reached the gray light of Duke Street, the smell somewhat improved by the wind clearing the once-stale air.

Hands shaking in perfect mimicry of her chattering teeth, Lily reached into her pocket to take out her keys. She missed the keyhole once, then finally turned the key. She opened the door a little, blowing out a breath that was starkly visible in the cold. The warmth from the inside of the building rushed outside. Lily didn't enter yet, unsure of whether James would go now, or if he would expect her to invite him in.

"I never asked you," James started, facing the cold with an expensive wool coat and gloves. "I came to your house and—" his voice cracked. The wind took away the rest of his words.

In a split-second decision, Lily shoved the door open all the way and ushered James in.

* * *

They weren't going to get past the entrance hall, Lily would make sure of that. She wanted to explain, and have James explain, in a setting that was neither freezing nor too personal. The entrance hall was the ideal middle ground.

"Why didn't you answer the door?" James asked. He sounded honestly hurt, and Lily tried to ignore his openness.

"I was—busy," she said, deciding on the word and tucking a stray strand of dark red hair behind her ear.

"With what?"

"I had an old friend over," said Lily. Under James' insistent stare, she elaborated. "Severus Snape. I've known him since primary school."

"Why couldn't you just introduce me then?" said James.

"He-he gets jealous-"

"Jealous? What, is this some kind of sick arrangement—"

"My mother's ill!" Lily shouted at James' implications, not caring about the neighbors or their sleep anymore. "I don't have the money to pay and my sister doesn't care! Sev was going to help me pay for the treatment as a _favor_ from a _friend_!"

"You could've asked me instead of treating me like I don't matter then like nothing happened the next day!" It was James' turn to shout.

"Does everything have to be about you?" Lily said, angry tears pooling in the corners of her eyes are she screamed louder still. "Do you think I enjoy asking for money all the time? I know you're _higher-class_, but that's not getting you anywhere with me!"

She stomped up the stairs before James could realize what had happened. He was left, numb, wondering what to do. Dimly, the thought of returning to his flat entered his mind, and he left the building for the screeching gale outside.


	12. Chapter 12

It was that overlong haircut, that annoying mop-top, that had been bothering her for the past ten minutes. She gritted her teeth and viciously wiped at a glass. Lily wondered how long she'd get away with ignoring a customer, and shot a look at Mr. Angleton. He wasn't paying particular attention neither to her nor to the bloke sitting at the table in the corner, carefully keeping to the shadows.

James Potter had the _nerve_ to come back to the pub, especially with all the fans around, endangering her work environment and her job. She'd show him, he wouldn't be getting any apologies to her. She poured ice from one pitcher to another in an attempt to look busy, all while closely monitoring her boss.

Finally Mr. Angleton's head snapped up from where he was talking to one of his old mates, and he motioned his chin towards the lone figure sitting at the table. Lily wiped her hands on her apron with a sigh, and walk towards James' usual table, her face set into an impassive expression.

It was the voice that caught her off guard, a very different voice than the one belonging the face she was trying to avoid by looking above the bloke's hairline.

"I'll have fish and chips," said a voice very much belonging to Remus Lupin. Another moment flashed in her mind, one of eating chips with a different Marauder and laughing, but she cleared her head and was back in the present.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. This was probably one of James' elaborate ploys.

"A good friend recommended this pub to me," he said with a small smile, as if the joke was funnier to him anyway.

Lily gave him a disapproving look and replied with her usual, professional, "I'll be back with your order."

She tried to find what James was trying to accomplish by sending Remus over as she placed the frozen chips and battered fish into the fryer. The usual sizzle and spit of heated grease brought her some comfort, and memories of going to a chippy with her dad and Tuney in the days where she could laugh with her sister and not feel hated flew through her mind.

She brought up a plate and lifted up the fryer basket, letting the oil drip from the newly fried food, before setting it on a plate covered with a paper napkin. She left the kitchen with the plate balanced on her hand like only an experienced waitress knew. Lily would be the expert, she thought, working at pubs since graduation.

She set the plate on Remus' table and he smiled and put down the book he'd been reading. He watched her and she watched him as he ate a chip, then another, finally cutting himself a piece of fish.

"What's your plan?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Oh, not much, I was thinking of eating then going home," Remus said, avoiding a smile because he knew perfectly well what Lily meant.

"Why is James sending you here?" Lily persisted.

"He's not."

"I don't believe you," Lily said, crossing her arms and sticking her chin out.

"I swear on everything that matters to me that I am coming here of my own free will," Remus stated solemnly, raising a hand. Lily studied him for a second.

"Can I sit down?" she asked, gesturing to the empty seat in front of him.

"Of course."

With a furtive look to the other end of the pub, Lily sank down into the seat. "Did James tell you?" she asked him, drawing circles with water on the table with her fingertip.

"No, but he seemed upset." Lily looked up, waiting for him to ask more, to pry, which was all anyone had been doing the past few days. He finished his plate.

He was about to say something when he winced. He put his hand up to his head. "Headache," he muttered. Then his eyes rolled into his head and he fainted, falling back onto the floor, his head hitting it with a thud that seemed impossible loud to Lily. He was very still on the floor.

"We need an ambulance!" somebody's shrill voice said, and it was a moment before Lily recognized it as hers. She sped towards the telephone and turned the dial, and it whirred as it snapped back into position. She wasn't dialing fast enough.

Numbly, she called an ambulance and described fainting and possible concussion, as well as high temperatures, reported by one of the bystanders, crowded around the small and broken-looking Marauder.

The ambulance arrived quickly, but not fast enough for Lily, who held Remus' hand and talked to him though he stayed unresponsive. When they picked him up, placed him on a stretcher, and carted him off into the ambulance she followed him in before she could think clearly, and no one questioned her presence.


	13. Chapter 13

Lily was paralyzed with fear as mentions of internal bleeding and transplants swirled around her. She followed Remus, who had now been transferred to a gurney, from one hallway to another in the pristine white hospital. When they stopped in front of double doors leading to the emergency section, Remus opened an eye.

"Is there anyone I should call? Family members?" Lily asked anxiously. Remus frowned, trying to concentrate on his vision on the confused blur he was seeing.

"No," he said, his voice raspy. "No one left." He valiantly tried to raise an arm, but it flopped back down. He gasped, and his entire body shook. The gurney swayed as he convulsed.

"Seizure," someone shouted calmly.

The doors were opened quickly, and he was led away into the emergency area while a nurse led Lily into a nearby waiting room. She sat down, in shock. The nurse smiled at her and went to fetch a glass of water. When she was back Lily brought the glass to her dry lips and was almost surprised when the cold liquid flooded her throat.

"Are you a family member? A friend?" the nurse asked.

"No," Lily said. "Actually, I don't really know him all that much," she said, realizing the truth of her words.

The nurse gave her a sympathetic look.

"I'll tell you when he's stabilized," she said, and hurried off to the emergency room.

Lily looked around at the room, empty but for a little old lady who was sleeping in a corner, clutching a small purse. She curled up into a seat, the material itchy under her stockings. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she watched the wall clock, her mind too numb to think or worry but her eyes fixed on the moving seconds hand, every motion reminding her of passing time.

Her eyes opened to a mass of hair in her eyes, then behind it, when she brushed it away, a face. Sirius was holding his fingers up to his temples, grimacing as if this was the only thing holding his skull in place. Lily saw the ghost of a beard on his chin. Looking at the clock again she saw it was four in the morning. She stretched her stiff limbs and inched her way out of the chair.

Sirius cleared his throat, pain in his eyes. "What—" his voice cracked, and he took a deep breath. "What did they say?"

"Internal bleeding. Kidney failure. High blood pressure, and seizures," Lily stated, her voice sounding rough from sleep and worry. Sirius nodded numbly, and turned around. Lily rubbed her eyes, forgetting about her makeup. Her knuckles came back smudged with black.

She left Sirius alone to look for a bathroom. She found one across a small hallway and splashed some water on her face, washing it semi-effectively. Her eyes had dark circles under them now that her flesh-colored powder that hid them had been washed away.

Lily walked sleepily back to the waiting room. Sirius had calmed down a little, and was now pacing. She settled back into her chair, and tried to keep herself awake. Her eyelids were heavy, but she tried to think of anything that wasn't Remus, because the worry constricting her throat closed off some more now that she had to split it between her own mother and Remus Lupin; an almost complete stranger who was so rich that paying his treatment wasn't even an issue, and she was terrified of this sudden loyalty to him.

Eventually the steady rhythm of the wall clock and of Sirius' pacing swept her with them, and she let her eyes close.

An hour later, James was signing into the hospital, running his hand through his hair again and again, focusing on this small gesture instead of all the horrible implications of a kidney failure, and how there hadn't seemed to be enough air for him to breathe since he;d gotten the telephone call. As he walked down a white hallway, his coat opening at his speed, all he could see was Remus at the shelter at the Penny Lane stop, very young and very trusting, so unaware of what was to come.

He was led into a waiting room, and was met with a sight that was so bizarre he stopped for a second. Lily and Sirius were sitting in adjacent chairs, leaning on each other and they slept, their chests rising and falling softly. This was the longest he'd seen them in close quarters without someone shouting. He felt a twinge of jealousy, and immediately hated himself for it, with all that had just happened to Remus.

He sat a few chairs away from Sirius, still unsure of what Lily's reaction to his presence would be. He sighed and buried his face in his hands. Remus had been in the operating room for hours. James didn't have much medical knowledge, but he was fairly sure that was a bad thing.

He wondered how long they'd have until the press found out, and everyone found out Remus' secret. James felt a stab of guilt; Remus had always insisted he didn't want the press to know. He knew he was right, if it was common knowledge they'd never leave him in peace, and he'd have to answer question after question. James was sure that deep down Remus feared he would be rejected because of his illness, and no amount of talking to him could ever persuade him to the contrary.

When he woke up light was streaming through the one window of the waiting room. Sirius and Lily had shifted in their sleep. Sirius had turned away from her and Lily was elbowing him in his ribs.

James stretched, and his jaw clenched, his entire body tensed, his face set into a neutral expression as the nurse that had shown him into the waiting room entered the room.

"I'm happy to say the operation was a success, and a full recovery is expected for Remus Lupin within the next two weeks."

A huge grin spread across James' face, and he shook Sirius. "Wha'?" Sirius asked, springing up from the chair. He looked around and recognized his surroundings.

"He's recovered," James said with a little laugh, and Sirius knew that all was well because he couldn't remember the last time James had laughed.


	14. Chapter 14

At the noise, Lily stirred, and she felt around her with her hand, trying to hit some invisible thing. It took James a second to realize she was looking for her alarm clock.

"Lily, we're in the hospital," he said. She opened her eyes slightly and frowned sleepily. In the time in took for her to remember where she was and what had happened, she sat up and glared at James. She got up gracefully and walked past him.

"Morning, Sirius."

Sirius chuckled and glanced at James, who had crossed his arms defensively.

"Morning, Lily. Shall we go visit Remus?"

A flash of real concern showed through her mask of anger towards James. "Is he better?"

"'Full recovery is expected for Mr. Lupin,'" he said, imitating the nurse's high-pitched voice. Lily laughed and followed Sirius out of the waiting room, disregarding James entirely.

At the last moment, Sirius turned back towards James and smirked at him. James jammed his hands into his trousers' pockets, following them out looking decidedly unhappy.

In front of the door to the operating room was a figure leaning against the wall. "Peter?" Sirius asked incredulously. The sleeping figure jumped and bumped his head against the wall.

Peter got up tiredly, rubbing the back of his head. "What were you doing there?" asked Sirius.

"They wouldn't let me into the operating room, so I decided to wait out here 'till they did. Must've fallen asleep."

James extended a hand and tentatively pushed the door open. They all filed quietly inside. At the end of the room was Remus, his eyes closed, looking very small on a white bed, with equally colorless sheets and covers. An IV dripped into his arm.

Lily wondered why he was alone in this room. Surely there were other patients in the hospital. At the hospital where they'd admitted her mother, she was in a room with rows and rows of other people, all of them ailing.

"Remus?" Peter said gently. Remus opened his eyes and smiled at the crowd of people that had gathered around him. In the hurry of entering the room, Lily had forgotten where she was, and noticed she was standing near James, brushing her shoulder with his.

She quickly shifted over to the other side of the bed, where Remus was. "Thanks for coming… It's just another flare, you didn't need to…" Remus said.

"Of course we'd come," said Peter.

"Flare?" Lily asked.

The other Marauders looked at one another, and she looked questioningly at Remus. "I have lupus," he stated flatly.

Lily's mind raced back to secondary school biology, and vaguely remembered something about autoimmune diseases. "Remus, I'm so sorry."

He waved her concern away with the hand that wasn't connected to the IV. "It's not too severe for me. It might not be fatal."

James cleared his throat. "Did they do a transplant?" he asked.

Remus shook his head. "The surgery was enough. I have one weak kidney, but the other one seems to be working well."

Someone knocked on the door, and they all turned. A doctor dressed in all white to match the place was standing at the entrance. "We need to perform some more tests, Mr. Lupin," he said. Remus smiled weakly at them as the man approached.

"I'll be seeing you later," he said as the doctor wheeled him out of the room.

"Ta-ra," said Sirius softly.

"Will you be going home now, Lily?" Peter asked her.

She was suddenly and sharply reminded of her regular life and schedule. Lily reemvered she did have somewhere to go in the afternoon.

"No, I have to go see my sister," she said.

"Where?" asked Sirius.

"The Dingle," said Lily.

"I can drive you there," James said, and immediately regretted it after the withering look Lily gave him.

"I can go by myself, _thank_ you."

"You're not going to be able to walk on your tod," Sirius told her. "We're at Croxteth."

Lily sighed mapping the road out in the mind. She knew Sirius was right, she couldn't travel that far easily. "Fine. Let's go then."

* * *

**A/N: Those who know a bit of Latin will appreciate my choice of disease.**


	15. Chapter 15

Lily watched her sister grow larger and larger with growing anxiety. Petunia had her hands on her hips and was looking straight at the car. Lily briefly wondered whether she'd somehow managed to see her through the window from a distance, or if she'd been glaring at every car that came in case it was her arriving.

She'd cut her hair shorter since she'd last seen her, and it hung just past above her shoulders, a horrible pale pink flowery headband cutting through the dull blond. She was glad Vernon wasn't there with her. She could only imagine the nasty comments he'd throw her way, along with seemingly innocent inquiries of when she would get a real job.

Sirius stopped the car in the middle of the road. "Quickly," he said, eyeing the cars that were starting to gather behind him.

Lily opened the door and stumbled out of the car, the night of poor sleep catching up with her at last. She closed the doors and waved tiredly to the Marauders. The car sped away, and she refused to acknowledge James who was still waving though they were far away.

She turned to see Petunia's eyes popping out of her bony face. She recognized the look as one of extreme anger. She pulled a strand of hair that had blown into her eyes back behind her ear. "Tuney, I'm really sorry for whatever I've done, but I'm honestly knackered, I haven't slept at all—"

"Leave it out! You're doing it again!" Petunia said shrilly.

"What am I doing?"

"You're trying to draw all the attention to you! You get the _Marauders_ of all people to drive you over to meet me?"

"Tuney, I swear, I had no way of getting here. It's a really long story, but I know them, and—"

"Oh, you _know _the Marauders?" asked Petunia sharply.

"Please, can we just talk about Mum like we said we would?"

"Fine," she sniffed. "But I don't want any of my friends seeing me with _you, _so find an empty pub."

"I think I know one two streets down," Lily mumbled defeatedly, too tired to admit she was hurt.

! #$%^&*

Lily stirred her cheap tea with a plastic spoon while she waited for Petunia to come back from bathroom. Petunia appeared, walking primly into the almost empty but clean pub.

"So," Lily said. She didn't look up from stirring her tea but heard Petunia get into her seat.

"I can't pay for Mum's treatment." It was a statement. There was no question about it.

"Why not?" Lily said, pain in her voice. "She's our _mother._ Can't Vernon spare some lolly?"

"Absolutely not," Petunia said. "We're having a baby."

Lily's eyes flicked to her sister's abdomen, which didn't look significantly different. She let the news settle in. "Congratulations!" said Lily.

"Don't pretend like you care."

Lily's eyes flickered with something more, something filled with fury beneath the broken-glass green. "I care. That baby's going to have me for an aunt. And unless you help me, that child's not going to meet grandmum, ever."

Petunia glanced down to where her future son or daughter was. "We can't just _give _all our money," she said with a slight frown.

"Yes, you can!" said Lily impatiently. "I'm _giving_ Mum money, like she never hesitated to _give _us things when we were small!"

Petunia's nostrils flared and Lily knew she was in for it. "Oh? Like she never hesitated to _give _you the little we had so you could go to the university, not me, but _you._ And look how well you used that gift, you, a _waitress!_ You never cared about your education!I am not betraying my baby and my husband for my old family who _obviously,_" her eyes burned into Lily's, "don't appreciate me."

Petunia turned and left the pub, the door clanging as she closed it. Having lost her appetite for tea, Lily left a few of her precious notes on the counter and sighed. She'd have to walk home.


	16. Chapter 16

"_Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves._"

—Remus Lupin on Lily Potter

J.K Rowling

* * *

His headache pounding in his ears, he reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table. His fingers closed around the small cardboard box and he brought it to the edge of the table where he was sitting.

He tried opening the box with fumbling fingers, but it slipped from his fingers. James cursed as the cigarettes spilled on the floor. Leaning forward on the table, he buried his face in his hands. "You seem a bit off," Sirius remarked.

"That tends to happen when you haven't slept two nights in a row," said James irritably. Sirius handed him a cigarette over the table. James took it and rolled it between his fingers. He flicked on his lighter and lit it.

"Curse Sir Walter Raleigh, the stupid git," James muttered, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"McGonagall would skin you alive if she saw you," Sirius warned. James shrugged nonchalantly and went back to the song he was working on.

"What are you writing, a get-well song for Remus?"

James rolled his eyes. "No. Unlike you, I'm working on the album."

"I'll get to it," Sirius insisted. He held his guitar, ready to play something but delighting in procrastinating as he stared at the ceiling, his feet up on the table.

* * *

"Sign here, here, here, and here, and also here."

"Isn't this a bit much for a hospital visit?" Lily asked, picking up her pen.

"Our client requires added security levels," the secretary explained. Lily took it to mean Remus didn't want the press to get in.

She wrote "Lily Evans" in loopy script in the indicated areas of the forms. The secretary accepted the stack of papers with a smile and picked up the phone. Lily listened to the dial's whirring sound as the secretary called some other area in the hospital.

"Yes, we've got a visitor for Mr. Lupin; Lily Evans."

The secretary put down the phone. "Ward three, second floor." Lily muttered a thank you and headed to the stairs.

Remus was reading a letter when she walked in through the door. "Fan mail," he said, pointing to a large, overstuffed bag filled with envelopes.

"What does it say?" Lily asked.

"This is one of the scarier ones. 'Remus, I love you so much. I know that we will get married as soon as I find you. If you ever try to love anyone else then I will be there to kill her.'"

"I knew it, they've all gone off their trolleys," Lily said with a smile. "There should be an official diagnosis for Maraudermania."

"What about you? Have you experienced Maraudermania?"

Lily turned red. "I have a few records…" she mumbled.

"You're not going to send letters to James threatening the life of anyone he loves that isn't you?"

"No, I'm not! I thought you were the sensible Marauder, Remus," Lily said. "Really, I'm disappointed."

"Fair enough," he said, putting the letter on his bedside table. The white room had been brightened by fan letters lying around everywhere, and a chair filled with presents and a pile of chocolate. On the bed, by Remus' feet was his guitar. He followed Lily's gaze.

"1964 Fender Esquire," he said. "James brought it. How he got into my flat, I don't know."

Lily's expression hardened at the mention of James. "I know you're angry with him," Remus said. "But he's not a bad person. He's arrogant, cocky, self-important, and angry most of the time, but he really does care."

"You may see that in him, but all he's managed to show me is arrogant and angry," said Lily.

"James won't give up that easily. I know you'll see him again soon, and try to let him change your mind."

* * *

Lily walked back home through Duke Street, not paying much attention to her surroundings so that she was already past the source of the music when she heard it. She stopped, turned, and walked back. She saw James sitting on the street, guitar in hand. Remus' words came sharply to mind, and she stood staring at him, mouth half-open, trying to discern some expression on his face.

"_Vont très bien ensemble_," he sang, occasionally mumbling in pseudo-French.

She looked at him disapprovingly, but if he'd seen her he didn't show it. She decided she wouldn't waste another minute on him, and walked straight to her home.

She couldn't help it, and was back a few minutes later. She stared at James, waiting for him to break character and acknowledge her.

He stubbornly kept playing; his fingers placing themselves on the fingerboard almost of their own accord, as he surveyed the street, his eyes landing everywhere but on her.

"What are you doing here?" Lily finally asked.

"I thought that would be obvious," said James without looking her in the eyes or stopping.

They stood there in silence except for the melody that was drifting from James' guitar, a few notes snatched by the wind when it blew.

"Really. Why are you sitting on the ground singing next to my home?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd take pity on me and invite me into your flat for tea."

Lily looked at him for a few seconds, at least a dozen of James' frenzied heartbeats later she answered. "You're not getting any of my good tea," she said.

He got up, slinging the strap of his guitar of his shoulder. "I can buy you good tea."

"As my grandmother always said, 'Money can't buy you love.'"

"Who said anything about love?" James asked with a mischievous grin.

"Shut up," Lily said, which earned James a half-smile as she turned the key.


	17. Chapter 17

"What?" Lily demanded. James made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

"Nothing," he said, choking down the tea. Lily's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, is Mr. Potter too posh for peasant tea?"

"It's not peasant tea…" James said. "Maybe we could try the good tea?"

"This _is _the good tea."

"Oh."

"What's wrong with my tea?"

"Nothing," he said, gulping down the rest of the tea. He slammed the mug down onto the table he was sitting at.

"Never could make tea properly, my mum said," Lily said, running water over her mug in the kitchen and setting it to dry. "I'm more of a coffee person, but I haven't got room for all the machines." In her mind she added, _and I haven't got money for the coffee or the machines._ But if Lily Evans had a bad quality, it would be her pride, so she kept quiet.

"I get it from my dad. He'd always make coffee in the morning, and sometimes he'd let me have a taste, and I always thought it was too bitter and disgusting, but I eventually got used to it."

She wiped the mug almost automatically, a skill from the bar. She set it back into her own cupboard, which was of course perfectly organized.

She turned to see James with his head on the table, slumped over. "James?"

He didn't react. She saw the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and remembered something he'd said, about not having slept the last two nights.

She didn't bother trying to move him, and moved into the main room. Suddenly she felt drained of all energy, and she slipped into her bed, flicking the lights off.

! #$%^&*

James woke up and turned. Pain shot through his body; his neck, back, and arm were sore and twisted. He was suddenly aware of a hard surface his cheekbone was digging painfully into. The usual reassuring pressure of his glasses against the bridge of his nose had become painful as his glasses bit into it. He lifted his head and saw tablecloth. The previous day rushed into his mind, and he stood up, wondering where Lily was and how much time had passed.

Graying light of dawn was filtering through the curtains of the kitchen's small window. The main room was dark. James rubbed his eyes under his glasses and waited until his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness. Slowly, the outline of two beds became visible.

He stepped into the main room and saw the outline of Lily's sleeping figure, red hair fanning out on the pillow. Suddenly there was a ringing noise and James jumped. Lily stirred and started hitting her bedside table at random. Things started to fall; a headband, a small picture frame, and James stepped in and pressed the snooze button.

Lily stretched and peered at him through half-closed eyes. "James," she said, his name distorted by a yawn.

"Sorry, I fell asleep."

"'S fine," she muttered. She rose from her bed, still in the clothes from the day before. She opened a closet sleepily and picked out a shirt and skirt. James found the switch and flicked on the lights, the ugly yellowish electric light replacing the pale glow of dawn.

James felt a strange burst of pride when he saw Lily come out of the bathroom changed into the green blouse, a fresh swipe of eyeliner on her upper eyelids. Lily slumped on the table. She looked up, her nose slightly wrinkled.

"What's burning?"

"I'm making toast," James explained. Lily's eyes went wide. She ran to the kitchen, and James followed.

A small fire was burning in and around the toaster. "Unplug it!" she shouted. James pulled the cord, the spark dangerously close to the flames licking the chrome of the toaster. Lily dumped a saucepan filled with water on the flames. They sputtered and died.

She opened the window and coughed as the smoke dissipated. She examined the dark ring burnt into the plastic counter, where the material had bubbled and cracked from the heat. "This'll be hell to explain to the landlord," she said.

"Lily, just move out of here, I can buy you a nice flat with a view on the Mersey—"

"I don't want to see that dump every day. No, you've done enough damage today, Potter," she said, looking seriously into his eyes.

She fought to keep her expression angry, or even neutral as she stared into those hazel eyes that shifted from green to brown then back again, but before she could fight it she was laughing and James was too, the ridiculous situation catching up to them.

"I've got to go to work," she said finally, not without a tone of regret.

"Skive off," James urged.

"I can't, I need to earn my lolly."

James was silent for a minute. "How did you know there would be a fire when I said I was making toast?"

"I've heard about your cooking skills," said Lily, laughing. "No, the toaster always does that."

"The toaster always does that? Bursts into flames?" James exclaimed. "You have a firebomb disguised as a cooking appliance in your house?"

Lily shrugged. "Might come in handy."

"Yes, because it's much easier to use for arson than matches," said James sardonically.

"I really have to go," said Lily, checking her wall clock nervously. She eyed James. "And _don't_ come to the pub, the fans are still there."

"You've left me no other option than to follow you home."

Lily gave him a withering look.

"I still haven't forgiven you, Potter." She grabbed her bag and her keys and opened the door to her flat. "Out," she said, and James left her flat while she locked the door.

When she had gotten to the bottom floor, James wasn't at the entrance hall. Lily opened her letterbox and searched the bottom of the tin container. She pulled out a letter, and looked at it curiously, while closing the letterbox. Her breath caught when she saw the letter was from her father.

She ripped open the envelope and let her feet guide her to the pub, as she read the letter.


	18. Chapter 18

Lily,

_I'm so happy to say that we received money for your mum's treatment! We got it in a letter, with a note saying it was from a friend of yours, who wanted to thank you for being there for him or her when no one else was. Whoever this friend is, we owe him so much._

_I heard about Tuney, and we are so happy for her and Vernon. Say hello to her for us, will you? I know you haven't gotten along perfectly in the past, but don't you think you could get past it?_

_Either way, I don't think I could be upset about anything at this moment. Please give our most heartfelt thanks to whoever this friend is. Write back soon,_

_Dad._

Remus smiled as he put down the letter.

"You should have told me," Lily said.

"As you said yourself, you don't accept donations."

"Well… the only thing I can say now is thank you."

"That's plenty," Remus said. He drummed his fingers on the guitar's glossy body, lying next to him on its own pillow. "Why don't you get along with your sister?"

"She's… jealous. My parents set aside some money for me to go to the university, and not her. But I never used it. I went straight from secondary school to working at pubs." She looked up to Remus, a touch of desperation in her voice. "But I had no choice! All the money went to Mum."

Lily cleared away a pile of discarded fan letters from a chair and sat on it. She slumped on the side of Remus' bed, her head on her arms.

"I'm just… so… tired…" she mumbled, her voice muffled. "It's been a hard day…" she looked up and peered through the window, looking at the darkened sky, "…night."

"Visiting hours are over in ten minutes," said a nurse who popped her head into the room.

"They're kicking me out," said Lily, getting up.

"Tomorrow they're letting me out, if I pass the tests."

"I'll see if I can help you carry your '1964 Fender Esquire," she said, and she suddenly felt a surge of affection for Remus. "Good luck."

When she arrived home, she unconsciously searched for a figure singing on the street, and felt strangely empty when she didn't find one.


	19. Chapter 19

She knew the dark glasses and hat wouldn't be enough when she saw the flashing lights and reporters gathered around the entrance to the hospital. She glanced at Remus, who was expressionless, his eyes invisible behind the sunglasses.

"How has success changed your life?" a reporter asked, holding out a microphone.

"Yes," said Remus into the microphone. He weaved between the press, walking straight past the crowds. His face was devoid of emotion as girls shouted, barely held back by the policemen.

A uniformed chauffeur opened the door to a limousine and Lily stepped in at his prompting. Remus slid in and closed the door. He straightened his tie, and Lily was surprised at his coldness towards the fans. These girls, who were screaming because they truly admired him, just wanted a glimpse of him, and he hadn't made an effort to even acknowledge them.

In this respect James was the most different. He would be the first to smile at a crowd or blow a kiss at a concert, as a mass of girls fainted in the audience. She'd seen him on the telly, a wild grin on his face as she stepped down from the stage, took off his guitar, his hair looking even more ruffled than usual, and she'd thought it was the coolest thing, back when she had time for trivial things like watching the Marauders on the telly.

She smiled slightly, wondering if she would've believe anyone who would've told her she'd get to know the Marauders personally. She'd probably have told herself she was barmy.

She waved goodbye to one of the most famous people in England as the limousine drove away. It looked so out of place in Duke Street, its polished black exterior clashing with gray concrete and peeling paint.

Lily opened the door, the musty smell of the interior hitting her almost physically, the moisture almost tangible after the antiseptic hospital air. She opened her letterbox, hoping to get more news from her family. She saw a small advert and a letter. She was going to toss the flyer before something caught her eye – Sirius' face. She looked at it more carefully and saw it promoted an upcoming Marauders concert in Liverpool, in two months. Taped on was a ticket for the concert, and a scribbled note:

_Special access. Will you come? _

_-J_

Lily put it in her pocket for consideration. Next she opened the letter as she started climbing the stairs, registering with dread Petunia's name and address. She got to the door and unlocked it before she could read. Lily knew this was going to be bad, whatever Tuney wanted to tell her.

_Lily,_

_ I heard Mum got the money. Good for you, Lily, making me look bad and making our parents love you even more. She's been pestering me to tell you about the baby, and though I really don't have time to tell you this, the doctor said I should be due in three months. Don't expect more mail, I'm too busy. _

_ Petunia._

Lily lay on her bed that night, thinking about the poor child and wondering if Tuney would even let her near the baby.

* * *

"Peter, you and I both know that you're not the best drummer in the world. Even _I_ couldn't consider myself the best bassist," Sirius said.

"That still doesn't give you grounds to tell the press that I'm not even the best drummer in the Marauders, let alone in the world!"

"It was a _joke,_ Peter," James sighed. Peter glared at James.

"I'd like to see you drum better than me," Peter told Sirius.

James sat up, his eyes alight with interest. "Put a tenner in each, I'll judge."

"Go on, close your eyes," Sirius prompted, throwing a ten quid note on the table. Peter pulled out a note and handed it to James. James turned around while he listened to the shuffling behind him.

Suddenly the drumming started, a steady beat that was slightly off but passable, then with an interesting take on the cymbals. "That was duff, Sirius, Peter wins," James declared.

"And I didn't even give it a go," Peter said smugly.

Sirius glared and Peter snickered while taking the money from James.

"If Remus saw us messing about like this, he'd be choked," Sirius said, staring at the ceiling from his chair.

"I don't know, sitting for hours does wonders for my songwriting," said Peter.

"_I'm _writing songs," James said, looking at Sirius pointedly.

"Of course you are. _Lily_," he said batting his eyelashes. "_Your hair shines like a red sun. Your eyes are as green as… green things_."

Sirius smirked as he dodged an ashtray James threw at his head. Sirius leaned back into his chair. "I was thinking a song we'd scream, not sing, a dirtier sound. _'Girl, you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer!'"_

"Lovely," Peter sighed.

* * *

Lily knew she was supposed to be angry, but she could feel nothing but relief when James appeared at the pub. "James!" she said, a little too desperately. She frowned and composed herself.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear: "Missed me so much?" His scraggly hair tickled her cheek. Lily crossed her arms.

"Pretentious git," she declared, wiping down a greasy stain from a previous order of fish and chips. She looked up at him. "Are you going to order?"

"Four of fish," he said. Lily put down her rag and headed to the kitchen. James drummed his fingers on the bar's counter then stopped himself, not wanting to appear nervous. He was glad the pub was empty that night. He knew Lily would go barmy if the fans came again.

She was back with his plate before he could register it, and was back to work, leaving the bar to go see a customer in the pub. James watched her smile tiredly at a customer as he ate. She tucked her pencil behind her ear and came back with her pad scribbled over with orders. It seemed many people had ordered a pint of stout, because Lily started to fill glasses and glasses full of the dark beer, expertly managing to keep the foam from dripping from the overly filled glasses.

He was almost sad to finish his fish and chips because he no longer had an excuse to stay. Lily came back from serving the beer to take James' plate. "I heard Remus sprung for your mum's treatment."

"Yeah. Nice of him," she murmured. Lily suddenly turned to him. "Tuney—Petunia, my sister, is having a baby."

"That's great." He caught her expression, that had turned bitter and closed in a matter of seconds.

"She still hates me," she said, her voice closing off. "Any road," she muttered, "it's no difference from before."

James didn't press her for information, and pulled out a small notebook from his pocket, where he worked on lyrics, smiling at Lily when she brought him his coffee. The steam from the hot drink fogged up his glasses, and he put them down while he sipped at his mug.

Normally, coffee in the afternoon would keep him up all night, but he was beyond caring. James briefly considered skiving off the next day and sleeping late. He was James Potter after all, maybe that granted him some kind of artistic license to be gadding about.

He put his emptied mug aside and tried improving on the song he was working on. Something about it was off, maybe the meter, or the key, but it didn't sit well with him. James checked his watch and read one in the morning.

He closed his notebook and waved to Lily. She waved back tiredly, carrying a stack of plates to the kitchen.

* * *

He finally decided to go to bed, and caught a glimpse of the rising sun through his window. He fell onto his bed, cursing his luck that caused him to be tired several hours too late. He knew he was going to look like dog's breakfast in the morning. He fiddled with his alarm clock, and turned over, pulling his covers over his eyes as the sun rose slowly, a pale circle of light resting on James' sleeping form as day arrived.

* * *

He woke to a sharp poke in his side. He groaned, and tried to turn, but the insistent pain dug into his rib. "Marlene," he muttered, grabbing onto her elbow and moving it away from him.

He rubbed his side resentfully, grumbling. "You can sleep on your tod next time," Marlene mumbled sleepily. The only visible indication of her speech was the mass of fair hair that quivered over her face as she spoke.

Sirius was too tired to formulate a response, and he put his pillow over his face, brushing away a strand of shaggy black hair that had somehow made its way into his mouth. The pillow started to block off his air supply, and he pulled it off, flinging it away from him. It landed somewhere on the floor, it was too early to care exactly where, and Sirius turned over, pulling his arms over his head. Soon their breathing steadied and all was still, cold Liverpool air washing into Sirius' flat.


	20. Chapter 20

Lily was just washing her hands after a particularly greasy order when she saw someone sitting at the end of the bar, obscured by one of the shadows that were abundant in the pub.

She put on her professional smile and tucked her pencil behind her ear. She strode confidently to where the figure was, until the sight of his bright dark eyes stopped her short. "Sev?" she asked.

He gave her a humorless smile. Her eyes flicked unconsciously to the corner where James was sitting, peacefully writing in his notebook. Severus turned around to follow her gaze, but luckily he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, and turned back to face Lily and the bar, his movements slow and calculated.

"I heard someone paid for your mum," he said too casually.

"Oh, yeah," Lily said, as if she was just remembering, another glance to the back of the pub making Severus raise an eyebrow.

"Was it Potter? The Marauder?"

"Another Marauder," Lily sighed.

She turned to put a clean glass into the cupboard.

"Don't you _realize_?" Severus asked, louder this time. Lily almost dropped the glass, her hands trembling as she set it down on the back counter.

She breathed in deeply and turned slowly, her face a mirror of calm. Severus was looking deadly, his one earring glinting as he moved closer to her, closer to the light. Lily wondered whether the earring was a sign of initiation. The one thing she was sure of was that two years ago, before he'd joined, Severus couldn't have afforded golden jewelry any more than she could.

"Are you _trying_ to attract attention?" he growled. Lily looked once again towards James, waiting for him to look up, to cause a scene. Severus turned around again. "What?" he asked irritably.

"I… I'll better check on the customer," Lily stammered, heading over to James' table. She picked up his emptied glass of beer and looked him in the eyes. "Cover your face," she hissed. He pulled out his newsboy cap and kept his head ducked down, and she was careful to cover him, Severus' glare feeling like a quasi-physical sensation.

He looked at her questioningly but she shook her head slightly. She straightened up and James kept his face looking down, his hat on. "Anything else?" she asked.

"The other half," James said, pointing to his empty pint.

Lily nodded. "Don't make a scene," she muttered.

She breathed deeply and turned to Severus. As he shifted, she caught a tattoo peeking out of his sleeve. She recognized it immediately, a snake coming out of a skull, the symbol of the Death Eaters. She'd warned Severus that his new friend Macnair who was promising him exorbitant sums of money was no good, but he'd gotten caught up in the web of criminals and gangs, the most notorious of which was the England-wide criminal network of the Death Eaters.

She faced Severus with a new stubborn glint in her eyes as she walked back into the bar, determined not to be fazed by him. She placidly wiped another glass and set it in the cupboard. "Lily."

She turned at her name, and Severus was watching her intently. She sighed. "Sev, my mum's getting better. I don't see the issue."

"Don't see the issue?" Severus roared. He pounded his fist on the table and the counter shook. Lily remained expressionless, flinching only slightly as the glasses set on the bar tottered.

"No," she said calmly, looking straight into his dark eyes.

He lunged forward as if to grab her, and suddenly James shot out to the darkness, tackling Severus. "STOP IT!" Lily shouted.

She glared at them both. "I can take care of myself, James!" Upon hearing the name, Severus looked up to see who had pushed him to the ground. His face contorted in hate.

"You're lucky Lily was here," James muttered, releasing Severus. Severus turned to Lily.

"I don't need the help of a filthy bint like you," he spat.

"Apologize to Lily!" James demanded. Lily rounded on him furiously.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize!" she shouted. "You're as bad as he is!" She turned and stormed out of the pub, the shocked silence of the pub ringing in her ears.

She supposed the only thing left was to hoped she'd be able to keep her job. She turned as she rounded the corner, and was relieved and a bit disappointed that neither of them had bothered to follow her out.

* * *

Lily was making tea with trembling hands, her eyes rimmed with red as what had happened fully sank in. She'd angered a prominent Death Eater and gotten into yet another complicated fight with James she wasn't even sure how to begin to sort out.

She wondered what is was that made them clash so often, something about their personalities that was explosive, wavering back and forth, switching between hating James and missing him all the time.

Her phone rang, the tinny sound making her jump, and she picked it up. "Lily, I don't know how many times I can apologize—"

She hung up, not wanting to hear from Severus. Lily curled up in her bed, and stared at the light, imagining it sucking out money instead of electricity from the wall, and she eventually fell asleep.

It was morning and she felt the dull ache of worry settle in her before she even remembered what was wrong. Something was wrong, something bad had happened the day before, and she felt a pang of sadness as she remembered the previous evening.

Her phone rang, and she took it warily.

"Hello."

"No."

"Lily, listen to me—"

"No, James. I don't want to talk."

"I need to tell you this."

"Why didn't you call yesterday?" Lily accused, gripping the phone more tightly.

"I thought you said you didn't want to talk to me."

Lily chewed her lip; her logic was becoming faulty.

"What do you so desperately have to tell me?"

"Lily, I'm honestly sorry, I thought—"

"I don't give a sodding damn what you thought!"

"Please, Lily. We can talk in person, I'll come over to the pub tonight."

"I'm staying home sick."

"Then I'll come over to your home."

Lily frowned.

"Be here in half an hour." She put the phone down.

* * *

James knocked on the door, running his hand over his badly shaven face. Lily opened the door, dressed but looking rumpled, a frown on her face.

She let him pass unceremoniously into her flat. Lily pulled up a chair and sat at the table, halfheartedly stirring a tea that had long since gone cold. James sat hesitantly across from her.

"Well?" Lily asked, her tone already one of irritation.

"I feel the need to apologize, because what I did was wrong." He held up a hand as Lily started to object. "I also come bearing news, but first listen to me.

"I can understand you're furious with me and you never want to speak to me again. Fair enough. But honestly, I'm a nice bloke, and I'm honestly apologizing here, so take that into consideration."

He paused, letting his words sink in. Lily sat in silence, waiting for the rest of what James had to say.

"I also wanted to tell you that McGonagall wants us to go on a tour, all of England, no complaints of exceptions. We leave in two weeks, tour for a month, then come back for our concert."

"The one you sent me the ticket for?" Lily asked. James nodded.

"So, will you come?" James asked anxiously.

"I'll see. I'd have to skive off work."

"So does that mean I can go back to the pub tonight?"

Lily's mouth twisted into something approximating a smile. "Maybe."


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or related characters. I do not own the Beatles, their songs, lyrics, or other related copyrighted material.**

* * *

It was cold on the platform. This was a simple, easy fact that Lily could focus on, instead of her swirling emotions as James held her hand and they walked towards the small cluster of people. She'd noticed several glances from Sirius who was waiting with the others at their joined hands, but at the moment she was glad for the comfort and couldn't think about Sirius' opinions.

Next to Sirius was a blond girl Lily didn't know, who was talking animatedly to Sirius about something. Peter was a bit further back hugging a girl as she handed him a piece of paper. Remus was pulling along a large suitcase, checking the locks nervously.

The blond girl paused mid-sentence as Lily approached, and with a casual glance evaluated Lily. She disentangled herself from Sirius and held out her hand. "Marlene McKinnon."

"Lily Evans," she said as she shook her hand.

"Oh," was all she said and she turned back to Sirius. "If you forget to call again, I swear I will skin you alive Sirius!"

"That wasn't my fault last time!" Sirius protested.

James pulled her along past Sirius and Marlene, and the strains of their argument faded behind them. James stopped a little while before Peter and the other girl, Hestia Jones as James murmured to her.

A whistle blew and Remus pulled up his suitcase, dragging it to the edge of the platform. Lily watched the train pull into the station with increasing dread. She looked at James, helpless. She didn't know what to say.

"I'll be back soon," he said, and she smiled sadly at him.

"I know," she said. The train stopped and he pulled his hand out of hers. Lily felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, but blinked them back, not wanting to cry in a public place.

"Wait for me, will you?" James asked.

He turned and lifted his suitcase up onto the train and disappeared in, followed by Remus, then Peter, who held his drumsticks in one hand.

Sirius went in last, waving dramatically to Marlene. He reappeared, popping his head through an open window. "Be good!" he shouted as the train began to pull out of the station.

"Sod you!" Marlene answered as loudly, and he blew her a kiss before disappearing from view. Lily watched the train leave until not even squinting could make it visible. She breathed in deeply, once, twice, until the urge to cry was gone, replaced by this strange emptiness.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and whirled around to see Marlene. She looked sympathetic. "Come on, let's go get some drinks, a girl's night out."

Lily forced a smile on her face. "Didn't Sirius tell you to be good?"

"Exactly," Marlene said, steering Lily away from the platform.

* * *

James found a seat next to Remus, who was quietly reading a book. He pulled out his notebook, determined to fix the song he'd been working on. He'd called it "Love," the lyrics centered on the word, but it had seemed awkward and clumsily written. James had an idea of how to fix it.

He pulled a pencil from the assortment of strange objects in his coat pockets and crossed out the title "Love," replacing it with "Wait."


	22. Chapter 22

Lily woke up to a dry mouth and a pounding headache as the alcohol Marlene had talked her into having burned like fire in her. She opened an eye and waited for the room to steady before crawling out of her bed.

The telephone rang at the same time as her alarm clock, and Lily hesitated, dazed, wondering which to deal with first. She slammed down on the alarm and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Lily."

"Marlene? How do you know my phone number?"

"Oh, it's in James' flat." After Lily's confused silence, Marlene added: "Sirius has a set of keys to both James and Remus' flats, and I get to have them while he's away."

"Sounds sensible," Lily muttered.

"I'm a trustworthy person!" Marlene protested. "You sound terrible. What's wrong?"

"A few bevvies too many, I think."

"Oh, didn't know you can't hold alcohol. I'm fine," she added unnecessarily. "Are you skiving off today?"

"Can't, his nibs'll demob me," Lily said, falling back into her natural dialect.

"Shame. We could've had fun today."

"No thank you," said Lily, laughing.

"I'll see you at the pub then," Marlene said.

"You really don't have to—"

"Ta-ra."

* * *

"Friday night, Lily, don't be a berk," Marlene pleaded.

"You can go out yourself, I'm earning my lolly," said Lily adamantly. She nodded at a customer who had gestured to her, and came back with an armful of emptied glasses.

"You know, I just ask Sirius, and he gives me a monkey to spend on what I want. It's not exactly like the Marauders aren't flush."

"Don't you have any self-respect, though?"

"None," Marlene said with a grin. Lily shot her a disapproving look.

"I don't want to depend on anyone. I can handle myself," Lily said, setting down another pint of stout in front of Marlene.

"Sounds like you have problems," Marlene remarked.

"You're going to have to pay for the drinks," Lily warned.

"Of course, remember, my dashing boyfriend left me plenty to spend."

* * *

Lily fell easily into the repetitive schedule of her life, up in the morning, a random assembling of an outfit, brushing her teeth, a swipe of eyeliner, out the door and walking out hunched against the cold, which should have subsided by early March, but winter kept raging on.

It was times like these Lily would blame everything; Liverpool for the weather, James for making her look anxiously for a familiar face in the pub, Mr. Angleton for making her work, Marlene for going to bed late ever night, and herself for resolving every morning to go to sleep earlier then forgetting once the end of the day came.

She'd worked at pubs most of her adult life, but never before had she noticed how boring it truly was. She'd wipe glasses, take orders, pour drinks, fry food, and repeat. The days blurred until she had no idea which day of the week it was. She looked at her calendar much more often now, registering with a kind of weary surprise, "Oh! It's Wednesday."

Lily had gotten into the habit of marking the days until April 5th, the day of the concert. Once in a while she'd glance at the flyer and ticket, and imagine it whispering to her that she had to make a decision. She'd lay in bed late at night, regretting the day, and wondering what James had meant when he'd asked her to wait for him, dissecting and analyzing the memory in her mind until she distorted it and couldn't remember what had really happened and what she'd seen in dreams and nightmares.


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own the Beatles, their songs, lyrics, or logo. I do not own Harry Potter characters or the Harry Potter universe.**

* * *

The crowd roared and James felt his veins pound with adrenaline as he rose up onto the stage, guitar in hand. Usually at these times stage fright was the last thing on his mind, but this concert was different, a whole other species than the ones he'd been doing all over England for the past month.

This was the grand finale, the return to Liverpool after a month. He couldn't say he'd missed the city, but it was home. Some part of him was proud for Liverpool, proud that they accepted the Marauders as a symbol of the city. He had the city that raised him to answer to tonight.

Still he was nervous about something else, terrified that he wouldn't see a head of red hair in the crowd, that he'd ruined what had kept him going the past few months. The cheering reached an unbearable level when Sirius picked up the microphone. Usually James liked to do the introduction, but this time he'd asked Sirius to do it. He wasn't sure he could trust his voice to function properly.

"Good evening Liverpool!" Sirius shouted into the microphone, and another wave or roaring swept through the crowd. It wasn't even cheering anymore, it was just sound, people affirming their presence in the crowd. James scanned the crowd furiously, a few heads of red popping out, but either too short or too tall or the color too light.

James realized Sirius had finished talking and was nodding at him. Peter had gotten to his spot on the drums. James tried not to feel disappointed at Lily's absence, took a deep breath, and said his usual "one, two three four," forcing down the rejection and sadness that were welling up inside him.

He dispelled his nervousness and began to sing, trying to keep a smile on his face for the cameras, privately despairing for the missing person in the crowd, one of hundreds in Liverpool, and hundreds present, but it felt to James like there was a gaping chasm where she should have been.

Lily watched with a slight smile on her face, the wind ruffling her hair that felt oddly light now, watching James' frantic eyes searching the crowd. She waited for his gaze to land on her, and ached for his familiar smile to reappear and replace the false one he was wearing. She wondered if it was as glaringly obvious to anyone else that he was faking it.

It was halfway through the second song that he saw her, to the side in the third row, and he felt his heart leap to his throat, but carried the note perfectly as he'd learned to do over the years. He shot a dazzling smile straight at Lily, who responded with a small wave. He saw movement around Lily, girls agitatedly telling their friends that James Potter had directed his famous gaze towards them.

He sang through the whole concert looking in Lily's direction, so obviously that between songs Sirius glared at him. James was beyond caring, he was so glad to know Lily wasn't angry. He took a deep breath before the last song. Gripping the microphone more tightly, he said, "This one's for you."

He didn't elaborate, and Sirius rolled his eyes at him. The cheering swelled and James was sure he saw a few fans fall from where they were standing. Sirius and James exchanged a look, then a nod, and began to play. "_It's been a long time, now I'm coming back home. I've been away now, oh how I've been alone._"

"_Wait 'till I come back to your side, we'll forget the tears we cried,_" Sirius and James sang together.

"_But if your heart breaks, don't wait, turn me away. And if your heart's strong, hold on, I won't delay,_" James continued.

"_I feel as though you ought to know that I've been good, as good as I can be._" Sirius smiled at Marlene in the crowd.

"_It's been a long time, now I'm coming back home. I've been away now, oh how I've been alone,_" James finished.

The crowd roared its approval and James held up his guitar, heading to the side of the stage. He left his guitar to one of the stagehands so naturally he didn't even look, or maybe he expected someone to always be there to catch James Potter's Rickenbacker, and headed towards the greenroom. He listened to the noise of the people leaving and hoped Lily would come to the green room, as her special access ticket was approved for backstage access.

Sirius was reading a magazine and having a drink when James came into the green room. Sirius looked up. "Wotcher."

James nodded is response, and headed towards the water fountain. He grabbed a paper cup, filled it with cold water, and tilting it up to drink, he thought better of it and poured the water on his face.

He picked up one of the towels there for their use and wiped his face. With a tired sigh, James let himself fall on a leather couch opposite the one Sirius was sitting on. Peter entered the room and took a seat as well, holding a glass of water he sipped in a civilized way. It was oddly quiet in the green room, the screaming and noise above them seeming very distant and muted.

A stagehand shuffled awkwardly into the green room. "Mr. Potter? A visitor."

James got up a little too quickly and Sirius snickered, exchanging an amused look with Peter. James left the green room and saw Lily standing in the hallway, looking small and nervous among the machines and levers lining the hall.

Before he could realize it he'd somehow crossed the distance and made up for his awkward pause by running his hand through his hair, which was now unspeakably messy. The familiar gesture prompted Lily to break the silence.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi." He reached forward and ran his fingers gently through her hair, which barely skimmed her shoulders. He also noticed new bangs, cut a bit clumsily. "You cut your hair," he said. Lily nodded. "Bit uneven," he remarked.

"I've got scissors, haven't I? I don't need to go to a hairdresser."

James smiled slightly; he'd forgotten her acerbic comments and stubborn ideas of self-sufficiency over the last month.

"I waited for you," Lily said.

"I know."

"Well, thank you for your modesty."

"There's the Lily I've missed," Sirius said. Marlene was behind him, a satisfied smirk on her face, as if daring anyone to question Sirius' hand resting lightly on her hip.

"Remus!" Lily said brightly, moving past Sirius to give him a hug.

"Lily, you know your life hasn't been the same without me this past month," Sirius said.

"Careful," Marlene warned, her eyes narrowing.

"Although my life has been bleak during your painfully long absence, I don't seem to feel relieved now that you're back. Strange," Lily said.

"Ah, it was worth a try," Sirius shrugged. "Any road, care to join us for celebratory drinks, Lilykins?"

"Lilykins?" Lily wrinkled her nose distastefully at the nickname.

"As long as it winds you up, I'm calling you that."

Lily raised an eyebrow at the other Marauders, who all shook their heads slightly.


	24. Chapter 24

Lily was glad when they arrived at her flat. Going out for drinks with the rich and famous had been fun, but she needed some time alone with James. There were many things they needed to clear up, and Lily desperately wanted to ask James about the song he'd written.

The phone could not have rung at a worse moment. "Sorry," Lily said, going to take it.

"Lily?" a voice she immediately recognized as her mother's snapped her mind into worrying mode, far from thinking about petty things like emotions.

"Mum."

"Your sister's at the hospital, she's gone into labor. St. Kentigern's Hospital."

"I—I'd better go. Thanks for calling," Lily said, bewildered. She grabbed her bag and headed to the door. James looked at her questioningly.

"Tuney's having her baby—St. Kentigern's."

James nodded and they were getting into his car before Lily could really think. The whole trip to St. Kentigern's Lily was vaguely wondering what they would name the baby.

The hospital wasn't nearly as clean as the one where Remus had stayed, and dull paintings bearing people in old-fashioned dress and stern expressions lined the walls. A tired-looking secretary pointed them towards the stairs, Lily was privately surprised at the lack of paperwork, and they climbed to the second floor.

Finally they stood in a waiting area, and at the far end of the room could be seen a hallway filled with rows and rows of doors. Lily stood, feeling small in the large room dotted with worried families, and some lone people reading newspapers.

James took her hand in his and walked to the secretary's desk, gently pulling Lily along. "Petunia Dursley?" he asked. The secretary nodded.

"Room 237."

Lily nodded and thanked the secretary. As they walked off, the secretary squinted through her glasses. Her eyes widened in realization, and she picked up the telephone. "Beth, I think I've gone barmy. I just saw James Potter!"

* * *

When Lily hesitantly pushed open the door to Room 237, she saw one of the most unwelcome sights she could have imagined: Vernon Dursley, sitting on a chair looking angry.

Lily couldn't remember ever seeing him _not _angry, especially wherever she was concerned, so she didn't take it as a bad sign. Vernon's eyes narrowed to a point behind Lily's head she knew was to be James.

"Who's he?" he asked, pointing a grubby finger at James.

"James Potter," he said, extending a hand to shake with Vernon. Vernon looked down at the hand, then up to James' face, and James dropped his arm.

He looked with distaste to Lily. "Petunia was right about you," he grumbled, looking at Lily.

"Speaking of Petunia," Lily said impatiently. "Is she all right?"

"She gave birth twenty fifteen minutes ago."

"Twenty-?" Lily didn't bother to finish her sentence, and pushed the next door open and disappeared through it.

* * *

James sat down and smiled obnoxiously at Vernon, who shifted in his seat, his mustache trembling as he looked at him mistrustfully.

"And what's your _connection _to Lily?"

"Hm, good question," James said thoughtfully. "What's _your _connection to Lily?"

"I'm married to Petunia," Vernon blustered. He frowned at James. "Since you're so rich and famous, why's Lily still a waitress?"

James pressed his lips together. He was beginning to understand why Lily seemed to despise the Dursleys.

* * *

"Tuney… Tuney, it's me," Lily said, approaching her sister.

"I know it's you," Petunia snapped. Lily fought to keep a kind smile on her face.

"How are you?"

"Terrible."

The door opened and a nurse came in. "Hello, Mrs. Dursley." Her eyes shifted to Lily. "A visitor! How nice."

"I'm her sister," Lily explained.

"That's just lovely. Mrs. Dursley, aren't you going to let her hold the baby?"

Petunia glowered at Lily.

"No, I don't think that's necessary…" Lily backtracked quickly, seeing a fit coming on Petunia's part.

"But surely, you want him to meet his aunt?" the nurse looked Petunia in the eye.

"He?" Lily asked.

"His name is Dudley," Petunia said through gritted teeth, as she handed the bundle to Lily.

Lily held the Dudley in her arms. He squirmed slightly and opened his mouth a little, then laid still, softly breathing. The door opened, and she heard James announce: "Lily, I think I—"

He stopped mid-speech, forgetting his anger against Vernon, and looked over her shoulder, resting one hand on her forearm. He watched the baby and Lily's stillness, until Petunia snatched Dudley away quickly, and the spell was broken.

"Nurse Hastings, I feel tired," Petunia lied.

"I think you two should give her a moment alone," the nurse advised.

They pushed the door open, relegated to the waiting room again.

"Kicked you out, didn't they?" Vernon snickered. "I knew you wouldn't last long."

* * *

"Come in," Snape called, massaging his tattoo, which felt like it was burning. It had been bothering him the past few days, but he'd had more important things on his mind.

"The Lord has a message," said a somber voice he immediately recognized as Yaxley's.

"What now?" Snape asked, grimacing as he rubbed his arm once again.

"He needs you to take care of the… problem with the Meadowes."

Snape frowned. "When?"

"By tonight. Don't get caught."

"I won't," Snape muttered, fingering the hilt of the knife that was safely tucked in his belt.

"Oh, and I picked this up for you. Thought you might… enjoy it." Yaxley tossed a newspaper onto the table, and Snape waited for him to be gone before picking it up with disinterest.

His pale face grew paler still as he read the headlines.

* * *

"'A new addition to the Potter dynasty'? Since when am I a _dynasty_?" James asked.

"It gets worse," Sirius assured him.

"'Yesterday, Lily Evans and James Potter were seen going to St. Kentigern's Hospital. Shortly later, Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter were caught holding a baby, which, our inside sources say, is a boy. Is this a new addition to the Potter family? Will James Potter admit to having a son? Liverpool Star Watch is investigating.'"

"The evidence is all the more damning with the picture," Sirius said, pointing to the grainy shot of what was unmistakably James and Lily holding a baby.

"We can't show Lily," James said seriously.

"Agreed," Sirius nodded.

"Agreed to what?" Lily asked, walking into the room. "Sirius? What are you doing here?"

"Emotional support," Sirius said, leaning into the wall of the general waiting room, an area that was blissfully Dursley-free.

"Oh. Well, I think I'd better leave now," Lily said.

"Excellent idea," James said with emotion.

"You didn't _have _to stay, you know."

"Yeah, but they have nice things at the shop."

Lily looked at him sternly, trying to hide a smile and failed. "Right then. Which way is out?"

* * *

"Damn."

"Helpful, Sirius," James said, as the fans started to scream when they caught sight of them. Some were even trickling into the lobby.

James turned to Lily. "Just keep going, don't answer any questions."

"I'm not sure I—" Lily said nervously.

"NOW!" Sirius bellowed, and he sprinted across the lobby. They pushed past people trying to reach for them, and Lily squirmed as someone tried to pet her hair. The crowd thickened and there was no moving forward anymore. Microphones poked out everywhere, and she'd lost sight of Sirius.

James was next to her, denying something vehemently. "Lily, what was it like to be the mother to the child of one of Britain's most famous?" one asked.

It took a while for Lily to properly register what he'd said. She turned to her left. "James!"

Sirius laughed as he slipped away from the crowd, Lily's scream still ringing in his ears.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter is last, the epilogue. A sequel is in the works, but it may or may not happen.**

**Happy new year, everyone. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Epilogue**

* * *

"Where's Peter?"

"Dunno," Sirius said.

Remus frowned. "Hasn't been around much, has he?"

"He says he's working on a song." Sirius shrugged. "Aren't you worried about James?"

"He'll be here," Remus said.

"Or he'll skive off, because of his _emotional troubles_."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Remus said quietly, as loud swearing exploded from the hall. The door burst open to reveal James, a cigarette in his mouth, fumbling with his lighter.

He looked up quickly, took in his two friends, and took a seat in front of Remus and next to Sirius, clearing his surrounding area of papers. A fine plume of smoke raised where the abandoned cigarette was being extinguished, crushed on the table.

"She's het up, isn't she?" James asked. Sirius glanced over at Remus, and James sighed, leaning back into his chair.

"I saw Lily yesterday," Remus said. "She says you made her so furious she almost lost her mind."

He gauged James' reactions, and judging it was safe to continue, he added: "She also told me she loves you."

"Mate, that can't be bad," Sirius consoled, as he saw James straighten up.

"You know, it's up to you, but I think it's only fair; apologize to her," Remus advised.

* * *

The pub was empty that night except for a shady bloke in the corner who'd already ordered five vodkas, which made Lily nervous as she filled a sixth glass.

Half an hour later, she slung her shoulder bag on and left the pub, a strange weight settled on her, as the endless days of work ahead of her flashed in front of her in her mind. For the first time, she wondered about the future. Would it just be work all her life? And for what? More work?

Duke Street seemed far away that night, though the weather was warming up and she'd walked through an assortment of bad weather to get to and from work before with no problem. It seemed as if her life was now lacking.

Of course, it wasn't as if _James_ cared. The first moment the publicity got too bad, and some embarrassing _implications_ appeared on the press, he was gone. Their argument played over in her head again, as it had been over and over the past week.

_"James, I can't believe you told the press that!"_

_ "I didn't! It was someone else, I dunno!"_

_ "Are you two having an argument?" a reporter asked with hawkish interest. "Lily, did you know that James broke it off with his last girl following a newspaper article?"_

_ Lily rounded furiously on James. "Am I just another _girl_ of yours?"_

_ "No, Lily! Shut it a bit, not now!"_

_ "You're telling _me _to shut it?"_

_ James sucked in a slow breath. "Lily, not now!"  
_

She'd left angrily after that, and James hadn't followed.

The next morning she didn't want to look at the newspaper's headlines, but she couldn't help but glance at it. She threw it away, pain in her eyes once she read, in bold lettering: _Potter's girl has a fight with him – but what about the baby?_

She suddenly stopped short, realizing she'd just knocked into someone. Automatic apologies were already on her lips until she took a step back and saw square glasses. She immediately frowned and tried to sidestep James and continue on her merry way, but he moved along with her, blocking her path.

"I'm not allowed to go home now?" Lily asked, her eyes burning into James'.

"I just want to talk to you," James said.

Lily's eyes registered fear, an instinctive terror that Remus had told what she'd confessed after a few pints too many, a small phrase which had slipped out, that she'd tried to cover up and blame on the alcohol, but she was sure Remus' shrewd senses had seen past her blustering excuses.

Suddenly she felt vulnerable, exposed, waiting for whatever James had to say. It was quite simple actually, only five words, that came out in a rush so James couldn't stop himself if he wanted to. "I'm sorry, I love you."

Maybe it was accidental, maybe not, and though Lily was certainly sure that it was meant to be a hug, a rational thought at the time, and then she'd suddenly stopped thinking, and missed and somehow landed her lips on his.

Later James would laugh and say she'd done it on purpose, just to wind Lily up, and she'd defend her honor accordingly, but at the moment it had happened neither of them was really aware of anything, and when they broke apart, James smiled at her. Lily's eyes registered confusion.

"I'm really angry with you," she reminded him.

"I'm sure you are," James said, and maybe for the first time since he'd met her she passed up the opportunity to argue back.

* * *

**A/N: And that is the end of Maraudermania.**

**Believe me, if you think you're sad this is ending, you cannot be possibly more so than me. I've poured my heart and soul (figuratively) into this story for two months, and now it's ending.  
**

**After much soul-searching and dilemmas, I've decided on a sequel. This may or may not be a trilogy, but this story arc is definitely not over.**

**I will be posting the next story soon. It will be called Tomorrow Never Knows.**

**A new year's resolution: longer chapters for the next story. This may mean slower updates, but I'll try to keep up with one a week. You'll be getting as much writing as before, just in bigger chunks.  
**

**Thanks for reading!**


	26. Author's note and drabble

**A/N: Hello!**

**Just a friendly reminder for those who only follow this story and want to read the sequel, I have posted Tomorrow Never Knows. And I know having only an A/N for a chapter is really disappointing so I'll add a little Marlene/Sirius drabble for you trouble.**

* * *

How Sirius met Marlene

"Are you sure I can't tempt you with another drink?"

"If you want to tempt me, then it's not going to be with another drink…"

"Oi, you two, I thought this was supposed to be _me_ going out with _Peter_," Hestia huffed.

"Well since you were bringing an annoying friend, Peter decided to do the same," Sirius said.

"Did you just call me annoying?" Marlene asked him indignantly.

"Of course not."

"Well you can leave if you want," Marlene said, looking at Hestia pointedly.

"Oh yeah, I can walk through the whole city to get home in blizzard weather," said Hestia sardonically. "Where's Peter gone off to?"

"I dunno, do I?" said Sirius in annoyance.

Hestia got up to look for him in the crowded pub. She craned her neck to see over the people in the pub. Turning around, she saw Marlene and Sirius leaving, hand in hand. She ran back towards them desperately. When she'd gone out the door they were already getting into Sirius' car.

"Wait!" she shouted desperately. Sirius rolled down one window.

"What?"

"Are you just leaving me?" she asked incredulously.

"Well it might have been a bit awkward if you tagged along…" Marlene muttered.

"Hey, look, it's Peter over there," Sirius said, pointing behind her.

Hestia turned and tried to discern whether or not the cluster of people outside the pub contained Peter, and when she turned back around to ask Sirius exactly where Peter was, he was already driving away.

Sirius and Marlene laughed the whole way back.


End file.
